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A man is insensible to the relish of prosperity ’til he has tasted adversity. ~Sa’di (Musharrif-uddin)

How often do you think about prosperity?

For us goal-setters, we often think about progress and are obsessed with reaching the finish line of our dreams. I wonder, though, how often we think about the fruits we’ll gain along the way?

To consistently think of those fruits, you should develop a prospertiy consciousness. It’s not difficult to cultivate one. Like any thought process, it’s one that should be installed in your mind like new software. Once it’s downloaded, it needs regular maintenance to make sure the files are operating properly. And when you reach those goals, you might want to upgrade your software so that you’re prepared for new goals and new dreams.

THE FOUNDATION OF PROSPERITY

A mindset shift begins with a basic thought. A belief is only a thought you keep thinking, until your mind accepts that it’s true. To install a new thought, you repeat it consciously until it’s absorbed into your subconscious mind. This may seem over-simplistic but honestly it’s just that easy.

For example, did you know the US was in a financial recession before you heard about it on the news? Then this fact was repeated daily for months. Do you believe it now? If you hear that we’re out of a recession, would you easily believe it? What proof do you have that we’re in a recession? This fact is probably something that no one doubts by now.

You can install this same level of belief in your own dreams and prosperity by utilizing this same method.

MAINTAIN YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

Once you’ve developed the habit of repeating statements about prosperity to yourself (my post on autosuggestion explains how), most people stop there. Your mind will revert to it’s old beliefs as soon as you stop. There is reinforcement all around us that we are not prosperous – the news, fears articulated by our family and friends, and negative sayings such as “money is the root of all evil” and “money doesn’t grow on trees”. So you have to keep the reinforcement going.

When you start feeling prosperous, positive energy flowing through you, don’t let anything block that energy. I guard against the negative energy of others by refraining from negative conversations, by not watching the news, and from reminding myself that my goals are all my own – it doesn’t matter one bit what anyone else says or thinks about my dreams. My life and my aspirations are all my own and it’s totally up to me to reach them – no one else.

UPGRADE YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

It’s not enough to repeat thoughts of prosperity to yourself daily. Once your mind accepts that prosperity can be yours, and you’ve developed the habit of thinking those prosperous thoughts, it’s time to upgrade them. I do this by reading books and listening to audio that reinforces these thoughts. I find that there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel. The people that have gone before me and experienced a life of prosperity and abundance are the best teachers.

When you reach this level of consciousness, you’ll want to surround yourself with thoughts, ideas, conversations, and resources that reinforce the belief that prosperity can be yours. Here are a few suggested books:

What are the books and resources you like to read, to keep your mind focused on prosperity? I’m always adding new titles to my own library and I’d love to read some of your suggestions.


Enjoyed this post? Fill in the form below to subscribe, or click here to subscribe to my RSS feed.

American Single Women

Addicted To Love

Free Dating

Sam Mendes

Are Age Differences a Barrier to Romance?

There is More to Life Than Being Someone’s Wife.

Why BW Need The Rules

How To Go Out Alone Without Being Alone

Dating Expert

How To Be Irresistible to White Men

The New Rules of Attraction

" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/essential-tips-for-developing.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(12326) "

 


A man is insensible to the relish of prosperity ’til he has tasted adversity. ~Sa’di (Musharrif-uddin)

How often do you think about prosperity?

For us goal-setters, we often think about progress and are obsessed with reaching the finish line of our dreams. I wonder, though, how often we think about the fruits we’ll gain along the way?

To consistently think of those fruits, you should develop a prospertiy consciousness. It’s not difficult to cultivate one. Like any thought process, it’s one that should be installed in your mind like new software. Once it’s downloaded, it needs regular maintenance to make sure the files are operating properly. And when you reach those goals, you might want to upgrade your software so that you’re prepared for new goals and new dreams.

THE FOUNDATION OF PROSPERITY

A mindset shift begins with a basic thought. A belief is only a thought you keep thinking, until your mind accepts that it’s true. To install a new thought, you repeat it consciously until it’s absorbed into your subconscious mind. This may seem over-simplistic but honestly it’s just that easy.

For example, did you know the US was in a financial recession before you heard about it on the news? Then this fact was repeated daily for months. Do you believe it now? If you hear that we’re out of a recession, would you easily believe it? What proof do you have that we’re in a recession? This fact is probably something that no one doubts by now.

You can install this same level of belief in your own dreams and prosperity by utilizing this same method.

MAINTAIN YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

Once you’ve developed the habit of repeating statements about prosperity to yourself (my post on autosuggestion explains how), most people stop there. Your mind will revert to it’s old beliefs as soon as you stop. There is reinforcement all around us that we are not prosperous – the news, fears articulated by our family and friends, and negative sayings such as “money is the root of all evil” and “money doesn’t grow on trees”. So you have to keep the reinforcement going.

When you start feeling prosperous, positive energy flowing through you, don’t let anything block that energy. I guard against the negative energy of others by refraining from negative conversations, by not watching the news, and from reminding myself that my goals are all my own – it doesn’t matter one bit what anyone else says or thinks about my dreams. My life and my aspirations are all my own and it’s totally up to me to reach them – no one else.

UPGRADE YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

It’s not enough to repeat thoughts of prosperity to yourself daily. Once your mind accepts that prosperity can be yours, and you’ve developed the habit of thinking those prosperous thoughts, it’s time to upgrade them. I do this by reading books and listening to audio that reinforces these thoughts. I find that there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel. The people that have gone before me and experienced a life of prosperity and abundance are the best teachers.

When you reach this level of consciousness, you’ll want to surround yourself with thoughts, ideas, conversations, and resources that reinforce the belief that prosperity can be yours. Here are a few suggested books:

What are the books and resources you like to read, to keep your mind focused on prosperity? I’m always adding new titles to my own library and I’d love to read some of your suggestions.


Enjoyed this post? Fill in the form below to subscribe, or click here to subscribe to my RSS feed.

American Single Women

Addicted To Love

Free Dating

Sam Mendes

Are Age Differences a Barrier to Romance?

There is More to Life Than Being Someone’s Wife.

Why BW Need The Rules

How To Go Out Alone Without Being Alone

Dating Expert

How To Be Irresistible to White Men

The New Rules of Attraction

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Q: My mature partner of four years has major issues being emotionally unavailable. We’ve discussed it but he claims “he just doesn’t feel love and emotion” like other people do. How do I deal with this love-less relationship? I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope.

-Megan R.

A: Hi Megan,

This is a difficult situation if you’re the type of person who needs to hear and feel love, caring and affection from your partner. There are few things more frustrating in a relationship than having an emotionally unavailable partner.

An emotionally unavailable senior person erects emotional walls between themselves and others to avoid closeness and intimacy. There are many possible causes of this emotional type of distancing. Among them are apathy and post traumatic stress disorder.

Since this is typically a psychological issue, counseling is usually required to break through and create change. In some cases, medication is also necessary. If your partner isn’t willing to seek help, research suggests that it’s most likely to continue. The reality is that love alone isn’t enough to create a happy and fulfilling relationship, Megan. If you’re really finding this extremely difficult to cope with after four years, I can only imagine how you’ll feel in the coming years ahead. In my opinion, your older partner needs help if you want to resolve this issue and find happiness together.

Related Resources:

Houston Mature Singles
San Diego Mature Singles
Queens Mature Singles
Tampa Mature Singles
Sacramento Mature Singles
Austin Mature Singles
San Francisco Mature Singles
Tulsa Mature Singles
Bronx Mature Singles
Detroit Mature Singles
Charlotte Mature Singles
Baltimore Mature Singles
Albuquerque Mature Singles
Honolulu Mature Singles
Tucson Mature Singles

Q: I'm 19 years old and my husband is 22. We’ve been married for two years. It's been a rocky marriage because he likes to play video games all day long. I’ve talked to him about wanting to watch a movie with me or order takeout and cuddle on the couch, but he ignores me. He used to be the sweetest guy when we first got married, but when I got pregnant everything went downhill. How can I get him to be more romantic?

-Kristina A.

A: Hi Kristina,

I’m sorry to read about the distance between your husband and yourself. However, I’m happy that you’re reaching out for help. That fact that you recognize potential trouble and will take action increases the potential of you resolving this issue. Simply ignoring issues like this never helps them get better or go away. In my opinion, you may need some outside help for this one, because you’re both very young and have a child to consider.

Your husband’s behavior may be a result of immaturity, or it may be that he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed and shutting down a bit in order to cope. Since there’s a child involved, please make an appointment with a therapist or speak with someone from your place of worship about this. This problem is fairly typical for young families and relatively easy to work through, if you both value your relationship and want to stay together. Strengthening your marriage will create a stable family and healthy environment for your child

Related Pages:
Boston Mature Singles
Miami Mature Singles
Atlanta Mature Singles
Manhattan Mature Singles
Los Angeles Mature Singles
Cincinnati Mature Singles
Portland Mature Singles
Washington Mature Singles
Orlando Mature Singles
Cleveland Mature Singles
Philadelphia Mature Singles
Nashville Mature Singles
San Jose Mature Singles
El Paso Mature Singles
Fort Lauderdale Mature Singles
Brooklyn Mature Singles

Q: My husband passed away last December. I still miss him, but I would like to start living my life again. I've been looking at single sites, but all the men seem to just want sex – and I'm not ready for that yet. Where can I meet people who are interested in getting to know a person slowly?

-Lora P.

A: Hi Lora,

First, let me offer you my deepest condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Having lost my wife a few years back, I know how deeply this cuts and how difficult it is to move forward. But I am very pleased that you’re interested in moving on, and I am confident that your late husband would want nothing less for you than to find true love, companionship and real happiness again. This leads us to your dilemma regarding where to meet considerate and decent men who will be sensitive to your situation, respect your loss and honor your desire to move slowly.

The truth is that there are a variety of places where you can explore new relationships, but there is no guarantee you won’t run into one of those wolves on the prowl for wounded and vulnerable souls. In situations like yours, however, I always tend to think of networking with friends and loved ones first. After all, these significant people in your life already love you, know you well and want the best for you. They also know their friends and co-workers well enough to help minimize matching errors and keep the wolves at bay. Of course, there is always your local place of worship, book clubs and volunteering centers to name just a few other options. With that said, let me also invite our readers to leave some suggestions, as I’m sure many of them have been or are currently in your situation. I honestly believe there are kind and good men out there, Lora, and I’m confident, if you take your time, you will find one.

Minneapolis Mature Singles
Columbus Mature Singles
Fort Worth Mature Singles
Phoenix Mature Singles
Las Vegas Mature Singles
Denver Mature Singles
Indianapolis Mature Singles
San Antonio Mature Singles
Louisville Mature Singles
Seattle Mature Singles
Chicago Mature Singles
New York Mature Singles
Colorado Springs Mature Singles
Milwaukee Mature Singles
Pittsburgh Mature Singles
Jacksonville Mature Singles
Dallas Mature Singles
Oklahoma City Mature Singles
St Louis Mature Dating
" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/why-is-my-mature-friend-emotionally.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(19845) "

 


Q: My mature partner of four years has major issues being emotionally unavailable. We’ve discussed it but he claims “he just doesn’t feel love and emotion” like other people do. How do I deal with this love-less relationship? I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope.

-Megan R.

A: Hi Megan,

This is a difficult situation if you’re the type of person who needs to hear and feel love, caring and affection from your partner. There are few things more frustrating in a relationship than having an emotionally unavailable partner.

An emotionally unavailable senior person erects emotional walls between themselves and others to avoid closeness and intimacy. There are many possible causes of this emotional type of distancing. Among them are apathy and post traumatic stress disorder.

Since this is typically a psychological issue, counseling is usually required to break through and create change. In some cases, medication is also necessary. If your partner isn’t willing to seek help, research suggests that it’s most likely to continue. The reality is that love alone isn’t enough to create a happy and fulfilling relationship, Megan. If you’re really finding this extremely difficult to cope with after four years, I can only imagine how you’ll feel in the coming years ahead. In my opinion, your older partner needs help if you want to resolve this issue and find happiness together.

Related Resources:

Houston Mature Singles
San Diego Mature Singles
Queens Mature Singles
Tampa Mature Singles
Sacramento Mature Singles
Austin Mature Singles
San Francisco Mature Singles
Tulsa Mature Singles
Bronx Mature Singles
Detroit Mature Singles
Charlotte Mature Singles
Baltimore Mature Singles
Albuquerque Mature Singles
Honolulu Mature Singles
Tucson Mature Singles

Q: I'm 19 years old and my husband is 22. We’ve been married for two years. It's been a rocky marriage because he likes to play video games all day long. I’ve talked to him about wanting to watch a movie with me or order takeout and cuddle on the couch, but he ignores me. He used to be the sweetest guy when we first got married, but when I got pregnant everything went downhill. How can I get him to be more romantic?

-Kristina A.

A: Hi Kristina,

I’m sorry to read about the distance between your husband and yourself. However, I’m happy that you’re reaching out for help. That fact that you recognize potential trouble and will take action increases the potential of you resolving this issue. Simply ignoring issues like this never helps them get better or go away. In my opinion, you may need some outside help for this one, because you’re both very young and have a child to consider.

Your husband’s behavior may be a result of immaturity, or it may be that he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed and shutting down a bit in order to cope. Since there’s a child involved, please make an appointment with a therapist or speak with someone from your place of worship about this. This problem is fairly typical for young families and relatively easy to work through, if you both value your relationship and want to stay together. Strengthening your marriage will create a stable family and healthy environment for your child

Related Pages:
Boston Mature Singles
Miami Mature Singles
Atlanta Mature Singles
Manhattan Mature Singles
Los Angeles Mature Singles
Cincinnati Mature Singles
Portland Mature Singles
Washington Mature Singles
Orlando Mature Singles
Cleveland Mature Singles
Philadelphia Mature Singles
Nashville Mature Singles
San Jose Mature Singles
El Paso Mature Singles
Fort Lauderdale Mature Singles
Brooklyn Mature Singles

Q: My husband passed away last December. I still miss him, but I would like to start living my life again. I've been looking at single sites, but all the men seem to just want sex – and I'm not ready for that yet. Where can I meet people who are interested in getting to know a person slowly?

-Lora P.

A: Hi Lora,

First, let me offer you my deepest condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Having lost my wife a few years back, I know how deeply this cuts and how difficult it is to move forward. But I am very pleased that you’re interested in moving on, and I am confident that your late husband would want nothing less for you than to find true love, companionship and real happiness again. This leads us to your dilemma regarding where to meet considerate and decent men who will be sensitive to your situation, respect your loss and honor your desire to move slowly.

The truth is that there are a variety of places where you can explore new relationships, but there is no guarantee you won’t run into one of those wolves on the prowl for wounded and vulnerable souls. In situations like yours, however, I always tend to think of networking with friends and loved ones first. After all, these significant people in your life already love you, know you well and want the best for you. They also know their friends and co-workers well enough to help minimize matching errors and keep the wolves at bay. Of course, there is always your local place of worship, book clubs and volunteering centers to name just a few other options. With that said, let me also invite our readers to leave some suggestions, as I’m sure many of them have been or are currently in your situation. I honestly believe there are kind and good men out there, Lora, and I’m confident, if you take your time, you will find one.

Minneapolis Mature Singles
Columbus Mature Singles
Fort Worth Mature Singles
Phoenix Mature Singles
Las Vegas Mature Singles
Denver Mature Singles
Indianapolis Mature Singles
San Antonio Mature Singles
Louisville Mature Singles
Seattle Mature Singles
Chicago Mature Singles
New York Mature Singles
Colorado Springs Mature Singles
Milwaukee Mature Singles
Pittsburgh Mature Singles
Jacksonville Mature Singles
Dallas Mature Singles
Oklahoma City Mature Singles
St Louis Mature Dating
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600261500) } [2]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-2958404804812851963" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 16 Sep 2020 10:48:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-16T03:48:55.440-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(50) "How Long Should I Wait for My Boyfriend to Change?" ["description"]=> string(17813) "

 


Q: How long should I have to wait for my 34-year-old boyfriend of a year and a half to change? He can’t even save money for a blender. Even his mom told him to get a job with a steady income. We can't live together yet because I don't feel financially secure with him.

-Pamela N.

A: Hi Pamela,

Let me begin by saying that you’re absolutely right on target regarding your concerns about your boyfriend and are very wise to pause and take stock of this situation. It sounds to me like the wisdom of your inner voice is whispering warning messages in your ear and that your discussions with his mother give real substance to your fears. My experience tells me that if he hasn’t responded to your requests to begin acting more mature and responsible after a year and a half, he most likely won’t.

This is a bad omen regarding marriage, because the reality is that one of the top reasons that people divorce is due to financial issues. If this is a problem now, and after a year and a half he still shows very little, if any, motivation to remedy it, I believe that it will become a much bigger issue later. Of course, there’s always the possibility of him having an epiphany and changing, but because of his age and history, I’m doubtful of that happening. At the end of the day, love alone isn’t enough to make a marriage work.

Q: I just broke up with my boyfriend because his mom offered to buy him a house if he broke up with me. What I’ve realized is that there’s a commonality with the guys I’ve dated. All of their mothers are very controlling. How do I change myself so that I stop attracting the same kind of guy?

-May P.

A: Hi May,

You ask a great question that many people struggle with. Habitually getting involved with the same type of person over and over again isn’t an accident or a coincidence. It’s done by choice; however, it’s typically not a conscious kind of choice. It’s more often than not driven by some underlying need, desire or self-esteem issue within you. Depending on how deep-seated these issues are, you may need the assistance of a therapist to drill to the core of this repetitive behavior in order to change it. Step one, however, in breaking this pattern, always begins with awareness. Your message to me demonstrates clearly that you now have accomplished this first important step.

Two clues that I get from your message are that you’re attracted to (1) men who have controlling mothers, and (2) men whose family have money. Some people find a way out of repeating patterns by mindfully dating people who don’t fit the normal mold of men that they’re typically attracted to. This is accomplished by a shear act of knowing the pattern that you’re trying to avoid. Others simply let their friends set them up with dates as a way of avoiding their own personal preferences that consistently lead them to wrong people. If you can’t change this through a strong act of will and your own efforts, allow a trained professional to help you work yourself through this, May.

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Kansas.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Oregon.html?gender=female&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Marietta.html?gender=female&page=2


Q: After 20 years of attracting unhealthy, unworthy men, I realize that I, too, was unhealthy. It has been said that we have to “delete” old programs and replace them with new ones. How can this be done?

-Joanne R.

A: Hi Joanne,

Even though I don’t know you and we’ve never met, I want you to know that I’m proud of you because of the valuable insight that you shared with me. Realizing and accepting that it’s something within you that’s letting this type of man into your life is the exact type of transformational seed of thought that needs to be planted before real change take place. Since you’ve already taken that critical first step called awareness, learning to delete old programs and replace them with new ones is the next step.

Technically, this is called cognitive restructuring, and it’s a psychotherapeutic technique that teaches you how to replace old negative, self-defeating thoughts with new positive, self-enhancing thoughts. This is also called thought reframing and it’s a tool used by cognitive therapists to help you to recognize and change the way you habitually think. One of the most famous cognitive restructuring therapies, rational emotive therapy (RET), was developed by Albert Ellis. Since you said that you have a 20-year history of making the wrong relationship choices, I suggest that you make an appointment with a cognitive therapist. Cognitive restructuring is just what you’re looking for, as it’s specifically designed to help you to identify, attack and change unhealthy and negative thinking.

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/how-long-should-i-wait-for-my-boyfriend.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(17813) "

 


Q: How long should I have to wait for my 34-year-old boyfriend of a year and a half to change? He can’t even save money for a blender. Even his mom told him to get a job with a steady income. We can't live together yet because I don't feel financially secure with him.

-Pamela N.

A: Hi Pamela,

Let me begin by saying that you’re absolutely right on target regarding your concerns about your boyfriend and are very wise to pause and take stock of this situation. It sounds to me like the wisdom of your inner voice is whispering warning messages in your ear and that your discussions with his mother give real substance to your fears. My experience tells me that if he hasn’t responded to your requests to begin acting more mature and responsible after a year and a half, he most likely won’t.

This is a bad omen regarding marriage, because the reality is that one of the top reasons that people divorce is due to financial issues. If this is a problem now, and after a year and a half he still shows very little, if any, motivation to remedy it, I believe that it will become a much bigger issue later. Of course, there’s always the possibility of him having an epiphany and changing, but because of his age and history, I’m doubtful of that happening. At the end of the day, love alone isn’t enough to make a marriage work.

Q: I just broke up with my boyfriend because his mom offered to buy him a house if he broke up with me. What I’ve realized is that there’s a commonality with the guys I’ve dated. All of their mothers are very controlling. How do I change myself so that I stop attracting the same kind of guy?

-May P.

A: Hi May,

You ask a great question that many people struggle with. Habitually getting involved with the same type of person over and over again isn’t an accident or a coincidence. It’s done by choice; however, it’s typically not a conscious kind of choice. It’s more often than not driven by some underlying need, desire or self-esteem issue within you. Depending on how deep-seated these issues are, you may need the assistance of a therapist to drill to the core of this repetitive behavior in order to change it. Step one, however, in breaking this pattern, always begins with awareness. Your message to me demonstrates clearly that you now have accomplished this first important step.

Two clues that I get from your message are that you’re attracted to (1) men who have controlling mothers, and (2) men whose family have money. Some people find a way out of repeating patterns by mindfully dating people who don’t fit the normal mold of men that they’re typically attracted to. This is accomplished by a shear act of knowing the pattern that you’re trying to avoid. Others simply let their friends set them up with dates as a way of avoiding their own personal preferences that consistently lead them to wrong people. If you can’t change this through a strong act of will and your own efforts, allow a trained professional to help you work yourself through this, May.

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Kansas.html?gender=female&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Marietta.html?gender=female&page=2


Q: After 20 years of attracting unhealthy, unworthy men, I realize that I, too, was unhealthy. It has been said that we have to “delete” old programs and replace them with new ones. How can this be done?

-Joanne R.

A: Hi Joanne,

Even though I don’t know you and we’ve never met, I want you to know that I’m proud of you because of the valuable insight that you shared with me. Realizing and accepting that it’s something within you that’s letting this type of man into your life is the exact type of transformational seed of thought that needs to be planted before real change take place. Since you’ve already taken that critical first step called awareness, learning to delete old programs and replace them with new ones is the next step.

Technically, this is called cognitive restructuring, and it’s a psychotherapeutic technique that teaches you how to replace old negative, self-defeating thoughts with new positive, self-enhancing thoughts. This is also called thought reframing and it’s a tool used by cognitive therapists to help you to recognize and change the way you habitually think. One of the most famous cognitive restructuring therapies, rational emotive therapy (RET), was developed by Albert Ellis. Since you said that you have a 20-year history of making the wrong relationship choices, I suggest that you make an appointment with a cognitive therapist. Cognitive restructuring is just what you’re looking for, as it’s specifically designed to help you to identify, attack and change unhealthy and negative thinking.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600253280) } [3]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-3088706070067651206" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 16 Sep 2020 10:22:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-16T03:22:41.196-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(41) "Loving a Liar and Unmarried with Children" ["description"]=> string(17595) "

 


Dear Loveawake,

My boyfriend used to be quite the philanderer. I can accept his past since it was before we met, but I cannot handle meeting his past lovers. My boyfriend has introduced me to four of these women, and we hang out with one of them quite often. Although I’m a bit reluctant, I accept spending time with her because they are such good friends. But now my boyfriend wants me to meet another of his ex-girlfriends. I know these women are in the past, but I just don't feel they belong in the present. I worry he might be tempted to take a detour down memory lane, and meeting my boyfriend’s exes makes me question our relationship. Am I just another notch in his belt? Although I appreciate his honesty and openness, my boyfriend’s relationships with these women make me feel anything but special. How do I cope with this?

- Angela P.

Dear Angela,

It is natural to feel awkward meeting your significant other’s exes. However, it sounds as if you’re worried he might cheat on you with one of these women. If you have no reason aside from your insecurity to believe your boyfriend will stray, you should trust that your relationship is more important to him than sex with an ex

However, if you don’t like spending time with these women, then don’t. It’s well within your rights to say, “Honey, I love you, but meeting these other women makes me feel uncomfortable, and I’d rather not do it? But it’s not okay for you to forbid your boyfriend to see these women entirely… unless you truly think he is cheating on you with one of them. Trying to control his behavior will only place more strain on your relationship.

There are two things I recommend you do to cope with this situation. The first is something I’ve suggested to others in the past: journal. Sit down and consider what specifically is bothering you:

·         Does my boyfriend still flirt with his exes?

·         Do I compare myself with these women?

·         What’s pushing my jealousy buttons?

·         What would I like him to do?

·         What do I want out of my relationship?

·         Is there something specific my boyfriend could do to make me feel special?

After you’ve thought through your feelings, have a candid discussion with your boyfriend. Use “I  statements, such as I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with your exes? Dont accuse him of cheating or give ultimatums. Do, however, state what you would like your boyfriend to do to help make your relationship more unified.

If your requests are reasonable but he refuses to comply, you may need to think about whether you want to stay together. Tough as it may be, letting go of a negative relationship will serve you better in the long run rather than trying to achieve a healthy partnership with someone who’s unwilling to compromise. 

 http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Hawaii/city-of-Honolulu.html?gender=male&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/North-Carolina/city-of-Charlotte.html?gender=male&page=2

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" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/loving-liar-and-unmarried-with-children.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(17595) "

 


Dear Loveawake,

My boyfriend used to be quite the philanderer. I can accept his past since it was before we met, but I cannot handle meeting his past lovers. My boyfriend has introduced me to four of these women, and we hang out with one of them quite often. Although I’m a bit reluctant, I accept spending time with her because they are such good friends. But now my boyfriend wants me to meet another of his ex-girlfriends. I know these women are in the past, but I just don't feel they belong in the present. I worry he might be tempted to take a detour down memory lane, and meeting my boyfriend’s exes makes me question our relationship. Am I just another notch in his belt? Although I appreciate his honesty and openness, my boyfriend’s relationships with these women make me feel anything but special. How do I cope with this?

- Angela P.

Dear Angela,

It is natural to feel awkward meeting your significant other’s exes. However, it sounds as if you’re worried he might cheat on you with one of these women. If you have no reason aside from your insecurity to believe your boyfriend will stray, you should trust that your relationship is more important to him than sex with an ex

However, if you don’t like spending time with these women, then don’t. It’s well within your rights to say, “Honey, I love you, but meeting these other women makes me feel uncomfortable, and I’d rather not do it? But it’s not okay for you to forbid your boyfriend to see these women entirely… unless you truly think he is cheating on you with one of them. Trying to control his behavior will only place more strain on your relationship.

There are two things I recommend you do to cope with this situation. The first is something I’ve suggested to others in the past: journal. Sit down and consider what specifically is bothering you:

·         Does my boyfriend still flirt with his exes?

·         Do I compare myself with these women?

·         What’s pushing my jealousy buttons?

·         What would I like him to do?

·         What do I want out of my relationship?

·         Is there something specific my boyfriend could do to make me feel special?

After you’ve thought through your feelings, have a candid discussion with your boyfriend. Use “I  statements, such as I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with your exes? Dont accuse him of cheating or give ultimatums. Do, however, state what you would like your boyfriend to do to help make your relationship more unified.

If your requests are reasonable but he refuses to comply, you may need to think about whether you want to stay together. Tough as it may be, letting go of a negative relationship will serve you better in the long run rather than trying to achieve a healthy partnership with someone who’s unwilling to compromise. 

 http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Hawaii/city-of-Honolulu.html?gender=male&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/North-Carolina/city-of-Charlotte.html?gender=male&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Ohio/city-of-Cincinnati.html?gender=male&page=2

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" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600251720) } [4]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-817400293273770659" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 11 Sep 2020 15:07:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-11T08:08:03.217-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(28) "What To Do When Friends Date" ["description"]=> string(11248) "

 


Ever had a couple of pals of yours who started to date?  It’s not totally out of left field. Your guy pal likes you and so does your female friend, so why wouldn’t they like each other? They’ve got at least one thing in common. But when they suddenly discover they have more mutual interests than just you, the situation can indeed become a slippery slope.


Here are five tips to navigate this tricky situation:

1. Handle your jealousy:

You may feel suddenly slighted that they start having plans together and do not invite you. Although you may feel uncomfortable that they now have a separate relationship and life that doesn’t include you, try to be happy for them. They are, after all, your friends.

2. Be supportive:

If they call each other pet names or decide to move in together, accept it and support them. You can’t really give your opinion in the same way as you would if it were one of your friends asking about their love interest who is not also a friend of yours.

3. Do not take sides:

When the inevitable argument occurs, simply tell them both that you are very sorry, but you just want nothing to do with it. Don’t take sides. You will always lose out.

4. Look for the positive:

Although initially awkward, having two friends who are dating can have many benefits. You can go on double dates! If you’re single, ask them to set you up on a double date. You will now have two for the price of one when it comes to giving opinions on if this date is right for you. If they fall in love and have a long and healthy relationship, they will always have you to thank for it and will forever be indebted to you for their life of happiness.

*****5. Make your stance clear from the beginning:******

This is my most important tip and it comes from personal experience. Two of my friends Aaron and Erin (yes, those are their real names) suddenly started to hit it off when a group of us went to Miami for a weekend trip. Now, being that they were both my friends, and they were both actors (I do not know a bigger recipe for dating disaster) I anticipated that this relationship might implode at almost the same speed it had taken off on the shore of South Beach in a mojito-induced haze. As soon as I saw Aaron rubbing sunblock on Erin’s back, I made my opinion clear. “I like you both and want to keep you both as friends. I will not take sides. Do not ask me what the other is doing or fish for information.”

It was a bit blunt, but a very important statement to make before this got off the ground. As predicted, their Miami 
romance fizzled a few months after returning to New York. Erin never told me she was cheating on Aaron, and although that would have made for interesting girl talk, I am glad I knew nothing about it and that relationship ran it’s course. They are both still my friends.

 Related Articles:

How To Save A Failing Relationship?

HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN ONLINE

Is He Your Soulmate?

Advice on Love and Life

A Broken Heart and 'Me' Time

Healing from Abuse and Finding Purpose

How to Sabotage Your Online Dating Experience in One Easy Step

Avoiding Internet Dating Pitfalls

Gay or Straight Marriage: Love is Love

Love Your Mate But Can’t Stand Their Friends?


" ["link"]=> string(77) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/what-to-do-when-friends-date.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(11248) "

 


Ever had a couple of pals of yours who started to date?  It’s not totally out of left field. Your guy pal likes you and so does your female friend, so why wouldn’t they like each other? They’ve got at least one thing in common. But when they suddenly discover they have more mutual interests than just you, the situation can indeed become a slippery slope.


Here are five tips to navigate this tricky situation:

1. Handle your jealousy:

You may feel suddenly slighted that they start having plans together and do not invite you. Although you may feel uncomfortable that they now have a separate relationship and life that doesn’t include you, try to be happy for them. They are, after all, your friends.

2. Be supportive:

If they call each other pet names or decide to move in together, accept it and support them. You can’t really give your opinion in the same way as you would if it were one of your friends asking about their love interest who is not also a friend of yours.

3. Do not take sides:

When the inevitable argument occurs, simply tell them both that you are very sorry, but you just want nothing to do with it. Don’t take sides. You will always lose out.

4. Look for the positive:

Although initially awkward, having two friends who are dating can have many benefits. You can go on double dates! If you’re single, ask them to set you up on a double date. You will now have two for the price of one when it comes to giving opinions on if this date is right for you. If they fall in love and have a long and healthy relationship, they will always have you to thank for it and will forever be indebted to you for their life of happiness.

*****5. Make your stance clear from the beginning:******

This is my most important tip and it comes from personal experience. Two of my friends Aaron and Erin (yes, those are their real names) suddenly started to hit it off when a group of us went to Miami for a weekend trip. Now, being that they were both my friends, and they were both actors (I do not know a bigger recipe for dating disaster) I anticipated that this relationship might implode at almost the same speed it had taken off on the shore of South Beach in a mojito-induced haze. As soon as I saw Aaron rubbing sunblock on Erin’s back, I made my opinion clear. “I like you both and want to keep you both as friends. I will not take sides. Do not ask me what the other is doing or fish for information.”

It was a bit blunt, but a very important statement to make before this got off the ground. As predicted, their Miami 
romance fizzled a few months after returning to New York. Erin never told me she was cheating on Aaron, and although that would have made for interesting girl talk, I am glad I knew nothing about it and that relationship ran it’s course. They are both still my friends.

 Related Articles:

How To Save A Failing Relationship?

HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN ONLINE

Is He Your Soulmate?

Advice on Love and Life

A Broken Heart and 'Me' Time

Healing from Abuse and Finding Purpose

How to Sabotage Your Online Dating Experience in One Easy Step

Avoiding Internet Dating Pitfalls

Gay or Straight Marriage: Love is Love

Love Your Mate But Can’t Stand Their Friends?


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599836820) } [5]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1177374813052039468" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 09 Sep 2020 15:58:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-09T08:58:38.615-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(43) "Dating Techniques Men and Women Should Know" ["description"]=> string(14375) "

 


Dating Techniques

First dates are your ticket to second dates and more dates to come. So you should know how to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. Below are dating techniques for both sexes. Reading this post and applying these Dating Techniques wisely can greatly enhance your relationship.

Dating Techniques for Men

Be prepared for the date. Have a good personal hygiene and grooming is very important. Otherwise, if you look and dress lousy on your first date, you are making an impression that you do not care much about your date and an impression that you can’t take care of your own self. Additionally, if you know you look good and presentable, it will add to your confidence level.

Wearing comfortable outfit is also a nice idea so you wouldn’t be always fixing or smoothing out your clothes while you’re on your date. You would want to focus more on the girl and the conversation instead of frequently preening yourself.

Prepare yourself mentally. Plan ahead. Plan where you are going and what you are going to do on your date. Make arrangements in advance. Prepare an ice breaker so the conversation will flow smoothly.

Another dating technique is brushing up on your proper manners and etiquette. Be courteous. If you are used to talking foul languages and profanity, better start removing those words from your vocabulary. You wouldn’t have many dates if you speak and act rudely. Women like to be treated with respect and gentleness. It is a plus point if you are a gentleman. Opening the door for her, letting her go first and helping her with her seat are some ways that can show that you are a real gentleman.

When you are having conversations, be interested in her and appear that you are listening to her as she talks. Also, be interesting. It’s good if you have a sense of humor because you can use it to lighten things up and promote good bonding.

Good dating techniques are being able to read women’s body language. It is an advantage on your dating endeavors. Generally, women are indirect and subtle. So if you can read their body language, you can make moves accordingly. Additionally, women are emotional creatures and their instinct is quite good. So you better manage your own body language, so you wouldn’t be sending inappropriate signals.

Women like to be complimented but give a sincere compliment because women can tell if it’s sincere or just a flattery.

Reflect what it is you want to gain from dating. If you are serious to find a lifetime partner or have a romantic relationship, be proactive in finding women to date. Attend social functions; join clubs or sports events to meet women. You should hone your dating skills.

Related Articles:

Assessing your personality traits & lifestyle

Online Dating Mate Criteria

Meeting Women Online

Long term and Short term Relationships

Online Dating Relationship Advice

Dating Tips : The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating

Practical And Effective Online Dating Tips

Tips on How to Start Dating After Divorce

DatingGuide Dating Techniques Men and Women Should Know

  Dating Techniques for Women

 If you like the guy you’re dating, these dating techniques are worth the read.

An effective dating technique to employ on your dates is to put an effort to dress well and look good. Be attractive. Guys care much about appearance. So pay attention to that. You don’t have to be beautiful to be attractive. Just dress well, highlight your assets, smile, and be confident and friendly.

A good dating technique for women is to be interesting and intriguing. Guys like a sense of mystery and enigma. So do not give too much about yourself right away and maintain a level of mystery in you.

Make the date fun and lighthearted. Have some sense of humor. Laugh if he cracks some funny jokes. Another dating technique is to make sure you have prepared for conversations and be able to talk with substance. A smart guy would like a girl that stands her ground and talks her mind.

Do not talk about commitments during the early stages of dating or you might lose the guy. Do not give into sex right away or you will lose the guy’s interest quickly. Let the emotions and sense of attachment develop before giving into his sexual desires.

Do not be clingy but maintain a level of independence. It’s true that guys also want to feel needed but do not be too much dependent. Know how to make him feel needed but still have your own thinking, decision and personality.

If it’s your first date and first time meeting the guy, mind your safety. First dates should be in public places. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. Do not tell too much about yourself. Be mindful in giving personal information.

If you have dated the guy and figured out that you do not want to date him any longer, be honest with him and do not give him false hopes.

Dating Techniques : Final thoughts

Dating skills (dating techniques) are necessary to have success on your dates. You don’t only date for future relationship prospect, but you can also find friendship in those dates you feel not romantically involved but would want to maintain friendship. Additionally, friends can be good matchmakers and can recommend future dates.

" ["link"]=> string(87) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/dating-techniques-men-and-women-should.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14375) "

 


Dating Techniques

First dates are your ticket to second dates and more dates to come. So you should know how to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. Below are dating techniques for both sexes. Reading this post and applying these Dating Techniques wisely can greatly enhance your relationship.

Dating Techniques for Men

Be prepared for the date. Have a good personal hygiene and grooming is very important. Otherwise, if you look and dress lousy on your first date, you are making an impression that you do not care much about your date and an impression that you can’t take care of your own self. Additionally, if you know you look good and presentable, it will add to your confidence level.

Wearing comfortable outfit is also a nice idea so you wouldn’t be always fixing or smoothing out your clothes while you’re on your date. You would want to focus more on the girl and the conversation instead of frequently preening yourself.

Prepare yourself mentally. Plan ahead. Plan where you are going and what you are going to do on your date. Make arrangements in advance. Prepare an ice breaker so the conversation will flow smoothly.

Another dating technique is brushing up on your proper manners and etiquette. Be courteous. If you are used to talking foul languages and profanity, better start removing those words from your vocabulary. You wouldn’t have many dates if you speak and act rudely. Women like to be treated with respect and gentleness. It is a plus point if you are a gentleman. Opening the door for her, letting her go first and helping her with her seat are some ways that can show that you are a real gentleman.

When you are having conversations, be interested in her and appear that you are listening to her as she talks. Also, be interesting. It’s good if you have a sense of humor because you can use it to lighten things up and promote good bonding.

Good dating techniques are being able to read women’s body language. It is an advantage on your dating endeavors. Generally, women are indirect and subtle. So if you can read their body language, you can make moves accordingly. Additionally, women are emotional creatures and their instinct is quite good. So you better manage your own body language, so you wouldn’t be sending inappropriate signals.

Women like to be complimented but give a sincere compliment because women can tell if it’s sincere or just a flattery.

Reflect what it is you want to gain from dating. If you are serious to find a lifetime partner or have a romantic relationship, be proactive in finding women to date. Attend social functions; join clubs or sports events to meet women. You should hone your dating skills.

Related Articles:

Assessing your personality traits & lifestyle

Online Dating Mate Criteria

Meeting Women Online

Long term and Short term Relationships

Online Dating Relationship Advice

Dating Tips : The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating

Practical And Effective Online Dating Tips

Tips on How to Start Dating After Divorce

DatingGuide Dating Techniques Men and Women Should Know

  Dating Techniques for Women

 If you like the guy you’re dating, these dating techniques are worth the read.

An effective dating technique to employ on your dates is to put an effort to dress well and look good. Be attractive. Guys care much about appearance. So pay attention to that. You don’t have to be beautiful to be attractive. Just dress well, highlight your assets, smile, and be confident and friendly.

A good dating technique for women is to be interesting and intriguing. Guys like a sense of mystery and enigma. So do not give too much about yourself right away and maintain a level of mystery in you.

Make the date fun and lighthearted. Have some sense of humor. Laugh if he cracks some funny jokes. Another dating technique is to make sure you have prepared for conversations and be able to talk with substance. A smart guy would like a girl that stands her ground and talks her mind.

Do not talk about commitments during the early stages of dating or you might lose the guy. Do not give into sex right away or you will lose the guy’s interest quickly. Let the emotions and sense of attachment develop before giving into his sexual desires.

Do not be clingy but maintain a level of independence. It’s true that guys also want to feel needed but do not be too much dependent. Know how to make him feel needed but still have your own thinking, decision and personality.

If it’s your first date and first time meeting the guy, mind your safety. First dates should be in public places. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. Do not tell too much about yourself. Be mindful in giving personal information.

If you have dated the guy and figured out that you do not want to date him any longer, be honest with him and do not give him false hopes.

Dating Techniques : Final thoughts

Dating skills (dating techniques) are necessary to have success on your dates. You don’t only date for future relationship prospect, but you can also find friendship in those dates you feel not romantically involved but would want to maintain friendship. Additionally, friends can be good matchmakers and can recommend future dates.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599667080) } [6]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-7898584228129740895" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 08 Sep 2020 16:09:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-08T09:09:31.943-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(48) "Relationship Troubles? 4 Healing Tips to Try Now" ["description"]=> string(12261) "


 

No relationship is perfect, and having too high of expectations can really lead to failure. Right now, you want to work on the relationship between you and your partner. What are four healing tips that you can try?

Go on a Retreat

If you are not spiritual or religious, retreats are still available for you. These types of retreats might focus on meditative practices or on having serious and intense conversations with your partner. Look into different types of couples retreats to find one that best suits your needs. For people who are religious or spiritual, those sorts of retreats can help you to connect on a greater level as well.

Try Something New Together

Sometimes, people fall into a rut because they do the same old things all of the time. When you and your partner have fallen into a routine, you might feel as though nothing is exciting anymore. As a result, you end up not even wanting to spend a lot of time with one another. Instead of going home and watching television again tonight, try that hot new restaurant in town. Or plan a weekend retreat to a cozy little bed and breakfast that you've been wanting to try for some time now.

Seek Couples Counseling

Perhaps you do not feel that counseling is for you, but you should at least give these types of programs a try. Having an outside perspective is so important when you are going through difficulties. You might not be able to see areas where you can improve as an individual, and the same holds true for your significant other. Furthermore, you both might not recognize how much love is still present between the two of you and how you can work to take steps together to heal.

Know When It's Over

If a relationship is not going to work out, you simply cannot force it to be so. The time may have come to seek out the help a divorce attorney in Sacramento has to offer. However, depending upon the circumstances and how the two of you feel about each other, you may still be able to maintain a different type of relationship. Being friends does work for some couples who were previously married.

Healing your relationship can mean a lot of 
different things. It might mean that you really work on spending more time together, or the solution may be for the two of you to go your own ways.

 Resources:

Philippines Online Dating Evolution, the Past, Present and Future

Alex Etsy

Secretly Converting Your Lover to Green

Keeping Long-Distance Love Alive

 Speed Dating on the Web?

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

(Awkward!) Online Date

How NOT to Set Up Friends on a Blind Date

You’re Ready For The Wedding, But Are You Ready For Marriage?

Is Your Friend Zone Full?

A Prelude to a Date

Would You Know Him If You Met Him?

Remembering Will and Grace

How to turn your woman on mentally

Online Dating Advice Being Honest

Online Dating On Our Coping Mechanism in Break-Ups

The Bigger Perspective Of Love Relationships

Parental Оbjection and Your Love Relationship

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/relationship-troubles-4-healing-tips-to.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(12261) "


 

No relationship is perfect, and having too high of expectations can really lead to failure. Right now, you want to work on the relationship between you and your partner. What are four healing tips that you can try?

Go on a Retreat

If you are not spiritual or religious, retreats are still available for you. These types of retreats might focus on meditative practices or on having serious and intense conversations with your partner. Look into different types of couples retreats to find one that best suits your needs. For people who are religious or spiritual, those sorts of retreats can help you to connect on a greater level as well.

Try Something New Together

Sometimes, people fall into a rut because they do the same old things all of the time. When you and your partner have fallen into a routine, you might feel as though nothing is exciting anymore. As a result, you end up not even wanting to spend a lot of time with one another. Instead of going home and watching television again tonight, try that hot new restaurant in town. Or plan a weekend retreat to a cozy little bed and breakfast that you've been wanting to try for some time now.

Seek Couples Counseling

Perhaps you do not feel that counseling is for you, but you should at least give these types of programs a try. Having an outside perspective is so important when you are going through difficulties. You might not be able to see areas where you can improve as an individual, and the same holds true for your significant other. Furthermore, you both might not recognize how much love is still present between the two of you and how you can work to take steps together to heal.

Know When It's Over

If a relationship is not going to work out, you simply cannot force it to be so. The time may have come to seek out the help a divorce attorney in Sacramento has to offer. However, depending upon the circumstances and how the two of you feel about each other, you may still be able to maintain a different type of relationship. Being friends does work for some couples who were previously married.

Healing your relationship can mean a lot of 
different things. It might mean that you really work on spending more time together, or the solution may be for the two of you to go your own ways.

 Resources:

Philippines Online Dating Evolution, the Past, Present and Future

Alex Etsy

Secretly Converting Your Lover to Green

Keeping Long-Distance Love Alive

 Speed Dating on the Web?

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

(Awkward!) Online Date

How NOT to Set Up Friends on a Blind Date

You’re Ready For The Wedding, But Are You Ready For Marriage?

Is Your Friend Zone Full?

A Prelude to a Date

Would You Know Him If You Met Him?

Remembering Will and Grace

How to turn your woman on mentally

Online Dating Advice Being Honest

Online Dating On Our Coping Mechanism in Break-Ups

The Bigger Perspective Of Love Relationships

Parental Оbjection and Your Love Relationship

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599581340) } [7]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1850309911125395107" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 04 Sep 2020 15:53:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-04T08:53:42.190-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(53) "Cultivating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s presence" ["description"]=> string(39494) "

 

One of the most common issues in relationships is that our relationships stagnate real fast, and many of us do not know the reason why.

And there are many complaints from girls and ladies, that their boyfriend or husband are real passionate for the first few months into the relationship, and then they cool off, leaving the girls thinking that guys tend to take girls for granted.

Of course, some girls can be guilty to guys in this situation too. However it seems that there are more culprits amongst guys.

Today, I want to share how you can deal with these situations, and will help in improving your relationships starting now!

Let us be honest with some common issues we face in relationships.

Girls sometimes complain that guys are not taking initiatives to maintain their love relationship.

They feel that guys are not spending enough time with them, or doing for them some stuff that makes them feel appreciate.

Guys sometimes complain that girls always spend too much with their friends, or in their activities as well.

However I will like to let everyone know some facts before we actually deal with how to solve this issue of a stagnating relationship due to negligence.

Fact #1: Guys are inconsistent with their emotions and feelings.

We often say that girls are inconsistent with their emotions because their hormones change during the time of the month.

However, the real issue of guys isn’t monthly; its just that all guys are hot over a new thing and then grow cold gradually thereafter.

Ever seen a guy who bought a new handphone, and then he cleans his screen diligently daily with a cloth? After a few months, he doesn’t bother that much anymore, unlike the first time he bought it.

It happens to cars, any gadgets, and unfortunately their love ones.

I remember years ago when I first got into a love relationship; I would travel daily just to send my girlfriend home from work, even though I had other important responsibilities to fulfill.

I eventually got burned out in the relationship and begin doing stupid things.

Girls and ladies, when you see your boyfriend or husband seemingly on fire because it is the first few months into your new relationship, please realize that it may not be what you think it is.

Our feelings are immensely infatuated, and we ourselves believe that we are so in love, it almost doesn’t matter whether if the world ends tomorrow. Our own feelings do deceive us.

So if you understand this, you will not be feeding your boyfriend with more emotions and feelings to make him bloated and dizzy.

During these first few months in a new relationship, he may be demanding more time together with you, do crazy things just to impress you or whatsoever.

However, try not to encourage it too much, and let him learn the test of life as a relationship tends to be more of a journey than a destination.

I know this is hard as girls and ladies are impressed by the deeds of their boyfriend or husband in this period of time, but if you are disappointed thereafter after just a few months of relationship, understand that the guy’s emotional tank just ran out and he is not exactly trying to be fickle.

Anyway to guys, if your girlfriend or wife seems to fit this description, understand that this is just some innate human weakness that the majority of us tend to have.

Fact #2: Many girls tend to believe that guys should always be the one to initiate the welfare of a relationship.

Some girls tend to think that guys should be the one initiating the welfare of the relationship, by giving gifts, flowers or initiate to spend time with them.

And if guys do not seem to live up to their expectations, they get disappointed.

If you truly understand the above Fact #1, that we are all human and have weaknesses, such demands do not help the relationship at all, but rather damages it even faster.

We must all understand that this is a relationship, that girls can’t be always at the receiving end to every good thing, while guys are supposed to be producing the results only.

Guys are fragile beings too. We feel disappointed, upset, angry, lonely and more; that’s why we also want a companion on our side to tide through difficult times.

Girls likewise desire a partner for exactly similar reasons as well.

So when you expect a guy to always have to give it his all, and if you are contributing little, then your relationship is not bound to last.

I understand why girls sometimes think this way. In the first place a guy spends all his effort trying to capture your heart, and then impresses you through and through.

It tempts you to think that this is what a relationship is, because this guy tries so hard in the first place.

However, then the guy is burnout in his feelings, and if the girl demands more from the guy to make the relationship stable, healthy and exciting, that will cause more problems than ever.

My advice? Be perceptive to the guy’s feelings and needs too, and solve your issues together.

Give to your boyfriend freely, and do not try too hard to making him reciprocate back your love.

When he finally realize your love, he will automatically reciprocate back to you. I know because I experienced it first hand before.

And by this I hope both of you will grow old together in love.

Relationship advice and Dating tips: Cultivating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s presence

Understanding the above facts, now I want to share about how you can improve your relationships by cultivating your bofyriend or girlfriend’s presence.

And if you are married, it applies to you as well.

When people are demanding more from their partners in a relationship, they are not after your gifts, your sweet words or even time.

What they really want is to truly experience love and appreciation from you.

However, we often misinterpret these demands, and think that our partners are being unreasonable with the demand of gifts, sweet words or even time.

Let me say these first, you do not need to buy your partner a gift every other daynor do you have to spend many days just to satisfy your partner, and nor do you have to bombard her with messages of love everytime.

That’s because if your partner feel that you are not doing it out of love and appreciation, all these things that you do will miss the mark and make them feel even more upset.

If you can help your partner receive this love and appreciation, you will realize every demand made will cease.

How then do you help them achieve love and appreciation? By cultivating their presence consistently.

There aren’t exactly formulas or steps for you to follow to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. That’s simply because humans aren’t robots, and they don’t exactly respond plainly to formulas.

Instead these are just some principles that you can take note of:

1. If you are with your friends together with your partner, don’t just keep on entertaining your friends.

Even if you have to make eye contact with your partner, let your partner know that you appreciate his or her presence in the midst of your interaction.

2. When you are spending time with your friends outside without your partner, send short messages through your handphone to update him or her about your whereabouts.

That’s to let your partner know that you are appreciating him or her presence, and that you value your love relationship.

3. You do not have to wait for an occasion to buy a gift for your partner.

Let’s say you came across something really nice while you are out doing business or something, feel free to buy it for your partner if it is within your budget or means.

4. Always thank your partner properly for every good thing that he or she did for you.

Let us not take their efforts for granted, for we thank our friends well enough, but not with the ones whom we truly love as we think it is normal for them to do so.

5. If you have not been in contact with your partner, don’t wait for them to contact you; initiate the call or the message.

At the end of the day, the most important thing that your partner desires is for you to remember them and appreciate their presence well.

What if I am burned out in my feelings, and my partner is demanding more?

My first recommendation is for both of you to talk things through.

Let your partner know that it takes two hands to clap; not a single person is supposed to lift the relationship by himself or herself.

Otherwise why bother to be in a relationship? Nuns and monks are happy by themselves.

Sometimes, I realize that your partner may be expecting you to give to her a dose of appreciation or love, maybe in the form of sweet words, gifts or time, in order for him or her to have the strength to reciprocate their love and appreciation for you.

This happens, and if you are up to it, do something about it. If not, talk things through with your partner.

The second recommendation for the both of you is to pace yourselves, instead of forcing yourselves to make the relationship work.

By pacing yourselves in contributing to the relationship, it will work better than to forcibly do something about it.

What do I mean? If you both are feeling burnt out in the relationship, it is not necessary to keep meeting up and spending time with each other in order to get back the feelings you both once shared.

Give both yourselves some space and time to relax your emotions abit, for both of you to fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work, and when you are fresh again, then seek to cultivate each other’s presence once more.

That will certainly help instead of pushing both yourselves to a satisfying love relationship.

Final words for this post

My desire for everyone is for them to come to this blog, and find great tips or solutions for their love life.

And I hope by taking what I have written into account, do see how you can position yourself to further improve in your love relationships.

Let me know and share your input in the comments below.

 Related posts:

Tips for Co-parenting After a DivorceTips for Co-parenting After a Divorce

How To Move On After A Rejection!

A Current Profile Photo Worth a Thousand Words

Sweetheart Swindles and Lost Love Scams

Dating Bloggers Should Think Before They Blog

The Real Reason Why “Nice Guys” Finish Last

Anna Folkner

Bitsdujour

Friends With BenefitsAnd How To Know You Are One

Film Quotes That Have Inspired My Personal Dating Life

How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

Grabbing Your Feminism By the Balls

Signs He’s Cheating On You

" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/cultivating-your-boyfriend-or.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(39494) "

 

One of the most common issues in relationships is that our relationships stagnate real fast, and many of us do not know the reason why.

And there are many complaints from girls and ladies, that their boyfriend or husband are real passionate for the first few months into the relationship, and then they cool off, leaving the girls thinking that guys tend to take girls for granted.

Of course, some girls can be guilty to guys in this situation too. However it seems that there are more culprits amongst guys.

Today, I want to share how you can deal with these situations, and will help in improving your relationships starting now!

Let us be honest with some common issues we face in relationships.

Girls sometimes complain that guys are not taking initiatives to maintain their love relationship.

They feel that guys are not spending enough time with them, or doing for them some stuff that makes them feel appreciate.

Guys sometimes complain that girls always spend too much with their friends, or in their activities as well.

However I will like to let everyone know some facts before we actually deal with how to solve this issue of a stagnating relationship due to negligence.

Fact #1: Guys are inconsistent with their emotions and feelings.

We often say that girls are inconsistent with their emotions because their hormones change during the time of the month.

However, the real issue of guys isn’t monthly; its just that all guys are hot over a new thing and then grow cold gradually thereafter.

Ever seen a guy who bought a new handphone, and then he cleans his screen diligently daily with a cloth? After a few months, he doesn’t bother that much anymore, unlike the first time he bought it.

It happens to cars, any gadgets, and unfortunately their love ones.

I remember years ago when I first got into a love relationship; I would travel daily just to send my girlfriend home from work, even though I had other important responsibilities to fulfill.

I eventually got burned out in the relationship and begin doing stupid things.

Girls and ladies, when you see your boyfriend or husband seemingly on fire because it is the first few months into your new relationship, please realize that it may not be what you think it is.

Our feelings are immensely infatuated, and we ourselves believe that we are so in love, it almost doesn’t matter whether if the world ends tomorrow. Our own feelings do deceive us.

So if you understand this, you will not be feeding your boyfriend with more emotions and feelings to make him bloated and dizzy.

During these first few months in a new relationship, he may be demanding more time together with you, do crazy things just to impress you or whatsoever.

However, try not to encourage it too much, and let him learn the test of life as a relationship tends to be more of a journey than a destination.

I know this is hard as girls and ladies are impressed by the deeds of their boyfriend or husband in this period of time, but if you are disappointed thereafter after just a few months of relationship, understand that the guy’s emotional tank just ran out and he is not exactly trying to be fickle.

Anyway to guys, if your girlfriend or wife seems to fit this description, understand that this is just some innate human weakness that the majority of us tend to have.

Fact #2: Many girls tend to believe that guys should always be the one to initiate the welfare of a relationship.

Some girls tend to think that guys should be the one initiating the welfare of the relationship, by giving gifts, flowers or initiate to spend time with them.

And if guys do not seem to live up to their expectations, they get disappointed.

If you truly understand the above Fact #1, that we are all human and have weaknesses, such demands do not help the relationship at all, but rather damages it even faster.

We must all understand that this is a relationship, that girls can’t be always at the receiving end to every good thing, while guys are supposed to be producing the results only.

Guys are fragile beings too. We feel disappointed, upset, angry, lonely and more; that’s why we also want a companion on our side to tide through difficult times.

Girls likewise desire a partner for exactly similar reasons as well.

So when you expect a guy to always have to give it his all, and if you are contributing little, then your relationship is not bound to last.

I understand why girls sometimes think this way. In the first place a guy spends all his effort trying to capture your heart, and then impresses you through and through.

It tempts you to think that this is what a relationship is, because this guy tries so hard in the first place.

However, then the guy is burnout in his feelings, and if the girl demands more from the guy to make the relationship stable, healthy and exciting, that will cause more problems than ever.

My advice? Be perceptive to the guy’s feelings and needs too, and solve your issues together.

Give to your boyfriend freely, and do not try too hard to making him reciprocate back your love.

When he finally realize your love, he will automatically reciprocate back to you. I know because I experienced it first hand before.

And by this I hope both of you will grow old together in love.

Relationship advice and Dating tips: Cultivating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s presence

Understanding the above facts, now I want to share about how you can improve your relationships by cultivating your bofyriend or girlfriend’s presence.

And if you are married, it applies to you as well.

When people are demanding more from their partners in a relationship, they are not after your gifts, your sweet words or even time.

What they really want is to truly experience love and appreciation from you.

However, we often misinterpret these demands, and think that our partners are being unreasonable with the demand of gifts, sweet words or even time.

Let me say these first, you do not need to buy your partner a gift every other daynor do you have to spend many days just to satisfy your partner, and nor do you have to bombard her with messages of love everytime.

That’s because if your partner feel that you are not doing it out of love and appreciation, all these things that you do will miss the mark and make them feel even more upset.

If you can help your partner receive this love and appreciation, you will realize every demand made will cease.

How then do you help them achieve love and appreciation? By cultivating their presence consistently.

There aren’t exactly formulas or steps for you to follow to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. That’s simply because humans aren’t robots, and they don’t exactly respond plainly to formulas.

Instead these are just some principles that you can take note of:

1. If you are with your friends together with your partner, don’t just keep on entertaining your friends.

Even if you have to make eye contact with your partner, let your partner know that you appreciate his or her presence in the midst of your interaction.

2. When you are spending time with your friends outside without your partner, send short messages through your handphone to update him or her about your whereabouts.

That’s to let your partner know that you are appreciating him or her presence, and that you value your love relationship.

3. You do not have to wait for an occasion to buy a gift for your partner.

Let’s say you came across something really nice while you are out doing business or something, feel free to buy it for your partner if it is within your budget or means.

4. Always thank your partner properly for every good thing that he or she did for you.

Let us not take their efforts for granted, for we thank our friends well enough, but not with the ones whom we truly love as we think it is normal for them to do so.

5. If you have not been in contact with your partner, don’t wait for them to contact you; initiate the call or the message.

At the end of the day, the most important thing that your partner desires is for you to remember them and appreciate their presence well.

What if I am burned out in my feelings, and my partner is demanding more?

My first recommendation is for both of you to talk things through.

Let your partner know that it takes two hands to clap; not a single person is supposed to lift the relationship by himself or herself.

Otherwise why bother to be in a relationship? Nuns and monks are happy by themselves.

Sometimes, I realize that your partner may be expecting you to give to her a dose of appreciation or love, maybe in the form of sweet words, gifts or time, in order for him or her to have the strength to reciprocate their love and appreciation for you.

This happens, and if you are up to it, do something about it. If not, talk things through with your partner.

The second recommendation for the both of you is to pace yourselves, instead of forcing yourselves to make the relationship work.

By pacing yourselves in contributing to the relationship, it will work better than to forcibly do something about it.

What do I mean? If you both are feeling burnt out in the relationship, it is not necessary to keep meeting up and spending time with each other in order to get back the feelings you both once shared.

Give both yourselves some space and time to relax your emotions abit, for both of you to fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work, and when you are fresh again, then seek to cultivate each other’s presence once more.

That will certainly help instead of pushing both yourselves to a satisfying love relationship.

Final words for this post

My desire for everyone is for them to come to this blog, and find great tips or solutions for their love life.

And I hope by taking what I have written into account, do see how you can position yourself to further improve in your love relationships.

Let me know and share your input in the comments below.

 Related posts:

Tips for Co-parenting After a DivorceTips for Co-parenting After a Divorce

How To Move On After A Rejection!

A Current Profile Photo Worth a Thousand Words

Sweetheart Swindles and Lost Love Scams

Dating Bloggers Should Think Before They Blog

The Real Reason Why “Nice Guys” Finish Last

Anna Folkner

Bitsdujour

Friends With BenefitsAnd How To Know You Are One

Film Quotes That Have Inspired My Personal Dating Life

How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

Grabbing Your Feminism By the Balls

Signs He’s Cheating On You

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599234780) } [8]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-5108304111615314778" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 03 Sep 2020 06:45:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-02T23:46:03.847-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "What to do when they lie?" ["description"]=> string(9234) "

I get this question fairly often and every time I hear the story I cringe inside. My first reaction is always anger at someome who lies to make his or her life easier and to get what they want at the risk of hurting someone they says they love.

Once I feel the pressure sliding down my body I have to wonder what happened in the relationship that caused this lack of respect. It IS a lack of respect when someone tells a lie because they know the truth will make them look like the piece of crap that they are. It’s like, “I’m doing the wrong thing but I don’t want you to be disappointed or angry with me.” Yeah right, then don’t make promises with your mouth that your actions can’t back up. Just sayin…

What is it about people who make promises when they know right up front that they have no intention of keeping their promise but they will hold their partner to theirs. Just drives me nuts.

Folks, it’s tough when you love someone you cannot trust. It leaves you feeling insecure and trying to decide if you should stay or go. Too often we’ll look at the relationship as a whole and remember the charming person who swept us off our feet and who can be very loving – and ignore how bad we feel when we get lied to.

Let me say that all of these reasons are crap.  Being lied to is not the price you must pay for being in a relationship with someone and not everyone will lie to you.  You will NEVER be responsible for anyone else’s behavior regardless what he or she says to the contrary.  We are all responsible for our own behavior and nobody can “make” you do anything – that’s just a sleazy excuse for abuse.

You found this person, didn’t you?  You’ll find another one the same way.  Being lied to tends to tarnish your sparkle a little bit but I promise that with a little dating practice you’ll polish up just fine.

As for why your liar creep keeps on lying?  Why should they change?  They’re in control, top dog and life is perfect just as it is.  They do as they please and then say, “oh, sorry about that,” and keep on keeping on.  You’re worth more.

Dating someone who travels alot

Growing pains When Dating Online

Which Battles Are Really Worth Fighting For?

How to Successfully Manage More Than One Online Girlfriend at a Time

What Are the Best Methods for Hiding Your Marriage From Your Girlfriend?

5 Bad Things to Say to a Single Woman

Looking for the Perfect Dating Site?

Crazy Glue Called LOVE

Are You Dating Psycho Boy?!!

A Cheesy Kind Of Love

Dating Site No-No’s

Divorce Concessions She got Facebook and I got Twitter

Four Dating Tips to Live By

Signs That Show Someone is interested in you

Bad Break Up Stories

Dating For Nerds: It Exists! Trust me!

Top Dating Tips for Women in Their 30s or 40s

A Cautionary Tale

Why You’ll Never Win a Fight

Getting Over the Anger In Relationships

Personal Ads in Newspapers versus Dating Online


" ["link"]=> string(73) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/what-to-do-when-they-lie.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9234) "

I get this question fairly often and every time I hear the story I cringe inside. My first reaction is always anger at someome who lies to make his or her life easier and to get what they want at the risk of hurting someone they says they love.

Once I feel the pressure sliding down my body I have to wonder what happened in the relationship that caused this lack of respect. It IS a lack of respect when someone tells a lie because they know the truth will make them look like the piece of crap that they are. It’s like, “I’m doing the wrong thing but I don’t want you to be disappointed or angry with me.” Yeah right, then don’t make promises with your mouth that your actions can’t back up. Just sayin…

What is it about people who make promises when they know right up front that they have no intention of keeping their promise but they will hold their partner to theirs. Just drives me nuts.

Folks, it’s tough when you love someone you cannot trust. It leaves you feeling insecure and trying to decide if you should stay or go. Too often we’ll look at the relationship as a whole and remember the charming person who swept us off our feet and who can be very loving – and ignore how bad we feel when we get lied to.

Let me say that all of these reasons are crap.  Being lied to is not the price you must pay for being in a relationship with someone and not everyone will lie to you.  You will NEVER be responsible for anyone else’s behavior regardless what he or she says to the contrary.  We are all responsible for our own behavior and nobody can “make” you do anything – that’s just a sleazy excuse for abuse.

You found this person, didn’t you?  You’ll find another one the same way.  Being lied to tends to tarnish your sparkle a little bit but I promise that with a little dating practice you’ll polish up just fine.

As for why your liar creep keeps on lying?  Why should they change?  They’re in control, top dog and life is perfect just as it is.  They do as they please and then say, “oh, sorry about that,” and keep on keeping on.  You’re worth more.

Dating someone who travels alot

Growing pains When Dating Online

Which Battles Are Really Worth Fighting For?

How to Successfully Manage More Than One Online Girlfriend at a Time

What Are the Best Methods for Hiding Your Marriage From Your Girlfriend?

5 Bad Things to Say to a Single Woman

Looking for the Perfect Dating Site?

Crazy Glue Called LOVE

Are You Dating Psycho Boy?!!

A Cheesy Kind Of Love

Dating Site No-No’s

Divorce Concessions She got Facebook and I got Twitter

Four Dating Tips to Live By

Signs That Show Someone is interested in you

Bad Break Up Stories

Dating For Nerds: It Exists! Trust me!

Top Dating Tips for Women in Their 30s or 40s

A Cautionary Tale

Why You’ll Never Win a Fight

Getting Over the Anger In Relationships

Personal Ads in Newspapers versus Dating Online


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599115500) } [9]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8812884563438426579" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:53:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-31T08:53:29.669-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(40) "You can always count on your girlfriends" ["description"]=> string(8060) "

 


My friend passed this on to me and it’s worth a post.

SISTERS

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and
visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned
a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your Sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to
the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love
the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.
Remember that ‘Sisters’ means ALL the women… your girlfriends, your
daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other
women. Women always do.”

‘What a funny piece of advice!’ the young woman thought. ‘Haven’t I
just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now
a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and
the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!’

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and
made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after
another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew
what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and
their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates.
Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don’t
do what they’re supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues
forget favors. Careers end. BUT………

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away, than needing her, can
reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by
yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim,
cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.

Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and
extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn’t be the same
without women, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead Nor did we know how much
we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Flirting Tips – 4 “Tricks” To Advance a Relationship

Top 3 Ways To Turn an Online Chat into a Long Term Love

How The Superbowl Can Improve My Relationship

Am I Becoming a Prude?

“Just Say No” To Toxic ONLINE People

Relationships Red Flag Alert!

Safely Dating Online is About to Get Easier

The Race To MarryIm Not Winning

When Your Boyfriend’s Best Bud Is Gay

Spruce Up Your Online Dating Profile

Should We Just Be Friends?


" ["link"]=> string(89) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/you-can-always-count-on-your-girlfriends.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8060) "

 


My friend passed this on to me and it’s worth a post.

SISTERS

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and
visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned
a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your Sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to
the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love
the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.
Remember that ‘Sisters’ means ALL the women… your girlfriends, your
daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other
women. Women always do.”

‘What a funny piece of advice!’ the young woman thought. ‘Haven’t I
just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now
a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and
the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!’

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and
made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after
another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew
what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and
their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates.
Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don’t
do what they’re supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues
forget favors. Careers end. BUT………

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away, than needing her, can
reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by
yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim,
cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.

Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and
extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn’t be the same
without women, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead Nor did we know how much
we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Flirting Tips – 4 “Tricks” To Advance a Relationship

Top 3 Ways To Turn an Online Chat into a Long Term Love

How The Superbowl Can Improve My Relationship

Am I Becoming a Prude?

“Just Say No” To Toxic ONLINE People

Relationships Red Flag Alert!

Safely Dating Online is About to Get Easier

The Race To MarryIm Not Winning

When Your Boyfriend’s Best Bud Is Gay

Spruce Up Your Online Dating Profile

Should We Just Be Friends?


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1598889180) } [10]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-6975666179021120231" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 27 Aug 2020 15:37:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-27T08:37:10.184-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(43) "Getting Started in Dating Guide – Plowing" ["description"]=> string(11608) "

 

What is Plowing

Plowing is a conversational technique of using brute force to get what you want.  It is basically talking over people and cutting them off so that you are constantly the dominant and leading force in conversations.  I am an aggressive person so I love plowing.  It may not be for you.  In fact it may be counterproductive for you if it doesn’t fit your personality. I find it extremely useful to get into set in loud fast paced clubby environments.  There are two forms of plowing; normal plowing and stacking plowing.

Plowing:

Normal plowing would be raising your voice over other people to get your point out.  This can also be done by cutting other peoples conversational threads to stay on your own material or threads.  This can be extremely useful when entering a set to gain attention.  Think of it as smashing around with a hammer to get your point across.  Sometimes it is necessary to get everyone’s attention and to keep the group on track.

Stacking and Plowing:

This is an extremely aggressive form of plowing which I use a lot when hooking sets in an extremely loud fast paced club. I will talk over people and continuously stacking different material until I get a reaction from the girls.  If they aren’t responding to something that I am saying I will start talking about something else.  If that doesn’t work I will start talking about something else and so on.  This is sometimes necessary to break into set.

Notice: These are aggressive.  I advocate them a lot in my game where Edge doesn’t really plow.  He uses finesse where I use a hammer.

Perfectionism and Not Feeling Up-to-it

What is Passion in Dating? (And Why Should We Care?)

Dating Game Lifestyle Development

Evolution of my Dating Mentality

The Power of the Straight Line

Avoiding Giving People the “Douche-Chills”

The Zen of Cooking and Seduction

Philippines Stripper Secrets

Expanding Your Consciousness

Growth = Trial, Error and Experimentation

How To Flirt On Facebook

Philippines Online Dating Evolution

Achieving Results In Your Dating Life Long Term

How to Have Mulitiple Long Term Relationships


How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Women on the Dance Floor

It’s time to sharpen our skills and learn how to pick up and seduce all those hot & sexy women on the dance floor. Here are some helpful tips:

This is one of the more favourable and popular spots to meet hot women for sex and one night stands. They are there for the taking. Take your pick! The dance floor provides a perfect setting for meeting hot young women. It’s a vibrant and exciting atmosphere and most of the women are hot. It’s just simply a matter of approaching them and engaging them. That’s all there is to it.

A lot of guys make the mistake of going to the dance floor and just stare at women and they stroll up and down the floor not even smiling or enjoying themselves. They don’t even engage properly a girl that catches their eye. They just don’t have the guts to approach them. What’s really sad is that these women are there to have a good time and attract the opposite sex. Why do you think they are moving their bodies like these? It’s to turn you on and show off their assets.

So be bold and aggressive and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to pick up women on the dance floor. Now, I will describe some important techniques and strategies to use on the dance floor. Use them and you can’t fail and you will have the night of your life!

It’s important how you approach on the dance floor. Always approach from the side and never from behind. Also make sure you are in a club with music you really enjoy, you will look more relaxed and you will feel good.

The lowest risk approach is to make eye contact with your target and high five her. Then simply spin her. Don’t forget to smile and to look playful. From there you can escalate smoothly.

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/getting-started-in-dating-guide-plowing.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(11608) "

 

What is Plowing

Plowing is a conversational technique of using brute force to get what you want.  It is basically talking over people and cutting them off so that you are constantly the dominant and leading force in conversations.  I am an aggressive person so I love plowing.  It may not be for you.  In fact it may be counterproductive for you if it doesn’t fit your personality. I find it extremely useful to get into set in loud fast paced clubby environments.  There are two forms of plowing; normal plowing and stacking plowing.

Plowing:

Normal plowing would be raising your voice over other people to get your point out.  This can also be done by cutting other peoples conversational threads to stay on your own material or threads.  This can be extremely useful when entering a set to gain attention.  Think of it as smashing around with a hammer to get your point across.  Sometimes it is necessary to get everyone’s attention and to keep the group on track.

Stacking and Plowing:

This is an extremely aggressive form of plowing which I use a lot when hooking sets in an extremely loud fast paced club. I will talk over people and continuously stacking different material until I get a reaction from the girls.  If they aren’t responding to something that I am saying I will start talking about something else.  If that doesn’t work I will start talking about something else and so on.  This is sometimes necessary to break into set.

Notice: These are aggressive.  I advocate them a lot in my game where Edge doesn’t really plow.  He uses finesse where I use a hammer.

Perfectionism and Not Feeling Up-to-it

What is Passion in Dating? (And Why Should We Care?)

Dating Game Lifestyle Development

Evolution of my Dating Mentality

The Power of the Straight Line

Avoiding Giving People the “Douche-Chills”

The Zen of Cooking and Seduction

Philippines Stripper Secrets

Expanding Your Consciousness

Growth = Trial, Error and Experimentation

How To Flirt On Facebook

Philippines Online Dating Evolution

Achieving Results In Your Dating Life Long Term

How to Have Mulitiple Long Term Relationships


How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Women on the Dance Floor

It’s time to sharpen our skills and learn how to pick up and seduce all those hot & sexy women on the dance floor. Here are some helpful tips:

This is one of the more favourable and popular spots to meet hot women for sex and one night stands. They are there for the taking. Take your pick! The dance floor provides a perfect setting for meeting hot young women. It’s a vibrant and exciting atmosphere and most of the women are hot. It’s just simply a matter of approaching them and engaging them. That’s all there is to it.

A lot of guys make the mistake of going to the dance floor and just stare at women and they stroll up and down the floor not even smiling or enjoying themselves. They don’t even engage properly a girl that catches their eye. They just don’t have the guts to approach them. What’s really sad is that these women are there to have a good time and attract the opposite sex. Why do you think they are moving their bodies like these? It’s to turn you on and show off their assets.

So be bold and aggressive and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to pick up women on the dance floor. Now, I will describe some important techniques and strategies to use on the dance floor. Use them and you can’t fail and you will have the night of your life!

It’s important how you approach on the dance floor. Always approach from the side and never from behind. Also make sure you are in a club with music you really enjoy, you will look more relaxed and you will feel good.

The lowest risk approach is to make eye contact with your target and high five her. Then simply spin her. Don’t forget to smile and to look playful. From there you can escalate smoothly.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1598542620) } [11]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-5681001750479840770" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 26 Aug 2020 16:05:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-26T09:05:47.012-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(56) "Sexual Priming Experiment: A Threesome I Couldn’t Have" ["description"]=> string(18661) "

 


We were standing there, the three of us, horny as fuck, just waiting for it to happen. Each of the girls open to it, damp underneath (they confessed later), me standing there plotting a way to close the deal. If only these poor girls at school knew the shit I did to them on a regular basis. Hahaha…

Credit where credit’s due, I first heard about sexual priming from Ratisse right here on this blog,  who read some scientific study about it. There you go.

Ratisse explains it as a way to gauge where you are in your seduction, the girl is either going to fuck you or she isn’t, and this can be used to tell which. He explained it as follows:

The Technique

Basically, sexual priming is maintaining the frame that:

If you continue doing (something she’s already doing that’s “turning you on”) I’m going to (do something to escalate towards sex).

Here’s an example of what you’d say to your target:

If you continue turning me on I’m going to make out with you.

If you keep making out with me I’m going to take you to the bathroom and jerk off for you.

or if she’s ready to be fucked:

If you keep making out with me I’m going to take you to the bathroom and fuck you.


There are different ways your target will react:

Active Acceptance of your frame

Passive Acceptance of your frame

Active Denial of your frame

An example of her passively accepting your frame would be her giggling.

An example of her actively accepting your frame would be her saying “What are you waiting for?”

An example of her actively denying your frame would be her saying “I don’t want to make out with you.”

If she accepts the frame, you can move forward.

If she denies the frame, you can either build more comfort and attraction or find another target, depending on how you want to invest your time.

- Ratisse

Anyway, the way the study went for the report was they showed people pictures of normal things, then they showed them pictures of sex. Afterwords they measured the increase in desire for sex in the people who saw the trigger pictures. They concluded that the desire to have sex can be triggered by an outside stimulus.

I’ve been experimenting with it at school for the last few weeks and I’ve had varying results, one of which would have resulted in a threesome had it not been for logistics. I did not use it the exact way Ratisse did. I just talked about sex in a way that caused the girls to imagine themselves having sex or me having sex.

Here’s what happened that day:

It started early on in the day when I turned the conversation sexual (as is my usual m.o.). I was talking with SchoolGirl (whom I’d already closed, the reports around here somewhere) and our mutual friend Pornstar (an inside joke).

Schoolgirl and I were talking to Pornstar about our experiences and she was asking tons of questions as she is less experienced but still not a virgin. The conversation continued off and on at various points throughout the day.

By the time school was letting out, we had made plans to hang out and keep talking. Unfortunately, we were confined to the parking garage since I live with my g/f and they still live with their parents.

The conversation continued about sex until Pornstar said she was extremely horny. Schoolgirl said she was too and I admitted the same. Then they both stood around, waiting for something to happen. Had there been a place to fuck, (you can’t have a threesome in a car, it was too cold and neither of us could afford a to get a room) I would have been able to escalate them both, instead, I went home and fucked my girlfriend twice and jerked off. The other two drove home together, still talking about sex. Pornstar was dropped off, Schoolgirl went home and neither of them got any. Needless to say that since then then I’ve been touching them in sexual ways and teasing them, egging them on.

Schoolgirl and I are down for a threesome with Pornstar, and Pornstar admitted to Schoolgirl she would do it to. Unfortunately this won’t happen until we find a place to fuck. Schoolgirl and I are much more touchy-feely with Pornstar since then, so it’s only a matter of time until the deal is sealed.

So in a nut shell:

- Talking about sex long enough,

- Getting her to imagine doing those things and

- Being accepting and non-judgmental of her questions, experiences and desires

will get her rearin’ to go.

Oh, and having a co-conspirator too will help.

Thoughts, questions, comments? Hate mail? Get on the newsletter for more great ways you can prime sexually and get those threesomes you want. 

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Same Night Lay Report

In Defense of the Bar

Online Dating: Finding Redemption in a Garage

Onine Dating : Being Effective

A Reflection On Being An Effective Pick-up Artist

Routine Building & Story Telling Tips

Mastering Online Dating

Seeking Women? Why I Hate a “Pick-up Artist”

The Deadly Error to Becoming Confident

The Art of Loving An Introvert

Should I give him another chance after he cheated?

We keep breaking up; should I tuck tail and run?

He came back, but he’s not asking me out

How can I rebuild the relationship after he’s been lying to me?

He had trust issues - am I a bad person for breaking up?

WE WENT TO PROM, BUT NOW I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT HE WANTS

New Zealand Women

He’s Keeping Our Son a Secret

Fiance Chooses Son Over Me

I Want More With Her Than Freinds

Right now it’s long distance; Is there potential for a relationship in the future?


" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/sexual-priming-experiment-threesome-i.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(18661) "

 


We were standing there, the three of us, horny as fuck, just waiting for it to happen. Each of the girls open to it, damp underneath (they confessed later), me standing there plotting a way to close the deal. If only these poor girls at school knew the shit I did to them on a regular basis. Hahaha…

Credit where credit’s due, I first heard about sexual priming from Ratisse right here on this blog,  who read some scientific study about it. There you go.

Ratisse explains it as a way to gauge where you are in your seduction, the girl is either going to fuck you or she isn’t, and this can be used to tell which. He explained it as follows:

The Technique

Basically, sexual priming is maintaining the frame that:

If you continue doing (something she’s already doing that’s “turning you on”) I’m going to (do something to escalate towards sex).

Here’s an example of what you’d say to your target:

If you continue turning me on I’m going to make out with you.

If you keep making out with me I’m going to take you to the bathroom and jerk off for you.

or if she’s ready to be fucked:

If you keep making out with me I’m going to take you to the bathroom and fuck you.


There are different ways your target will react:

Active Acceptance of your frame

Passive Acceptance of your frame

Active Denial of your frame

An example of her passively accepting your frame would be her giggling.

An example of her actively accepting your frame would be her saying “What are you waiting for?”

An example of her actively denying your frame would be her saying “I don’t want to make out with you.”

If she accepts the frame, you can move forward.

If she denies the frame, you can either build more comfort and attraction or find another target, depending on how you want to invest your time.

- Ratisse

Anyway, the way the study went for the report was they showed people pictures of normal things, then they showed them pictures of sex. Afterwords they measured the increase in desire for sex in the people who saw the trigger pictures. They concluded that the desire to have sex can be triggered by an outside stimulus.

I’ve been experimenting with it at school for the last few weeks and I’ve had varying results, one of which would have resulted in a threesome had it not been for logistics. I did not use it the exact way Ratisse did. I just talked about sex in a way that caused the girls to imagine themselves having sex or me having sex.

Here’s what happened that day:

It started early on in the day when I turned the conversation sexual (as is my usual m.o.). I was talking with SchoolGirl (whom I’d already closed, the reports around here somewhere) and our mutual friend Pornstar (an inside joke).

Schoolgirl and I were talking to Pornstar about our experiences and she was asking tons of questions as she is less experienced but still not a virgin. The conversation continued off and on at various points throughout the day.

By the time school was letting out, we had made plans to hang out and keep talking. Unfortunately, we were confined to the parking garage since I live with my g/f and they still live with their parents.

The conversation continued about sex until Pornstar said she was extremely horny. Schoolgirl said she was too and I admitted the same. Then they both stood around, waiting for something to happen. Had there been a place to fuck, (you can’t have a threesome in a car, it was too cold and neither of us could afford a to get a room) I would have been able to escalate them both, instead, I went home and fucked my girlfriend twice and jerked off. The other two drove home together, still talking about sex. Pornstar was dropped off, Schoolgirl went home and neither of them got any. Needless to say that since then then I’ve been touching them in sexual ways and teasing them, egging them on.

Schoolgirl and I are down for a threesome with Pornstar, and Pornstar admitted to Schoolgirl she would do it to. Unfortunately this won’t happen until we find a place to fuck. Schoolgirl and I are much more touchy-feely with Pornstar since then, so it’s only a matter of time until the deal is sealed.

So in a nut shell:

- Talking about sex long enough,

- Getting her to imagine doing those things and

- Being accepting and non-judgmental of her questions, experiences and desires

will get her rearin’ to go.

Oh, and having a co-conspirator too will help.

Thoughts, questions, comments? Hate mail? Get on the newsletter for more great ways you can prime sexually and get those threesomes you want. 

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Right now it’s long distance; Is there potential for a relationship in the future?


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1598457900) } [12]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8935241558619140466" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 25 Aug 2020 15:30:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-25T08:30:59.023-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(23) "Long distance etiquette" ["description"]=> string(24925) "


 Hey Guys,

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years and recently I moved across the world for a six month contract, so we decided to do an LDR. He was very supportive of me moving and wanted the LDR just as much as I did. Throughout the LDR there have been ups and downs and my general overarching problem is that things keep happening that I can’t seem to discern if they are deal breakers or not, likely because I don’t want to end it and am (duh) afraid of how bad it will feel if I do.

In general, about once every month or so we have to have some discussion about how he needs space or feels irritated about having to contact me every day, or else I’ll ‘get upset’. I’m on the other side of the world, so I wonder how much more space he could have? All I’m asking for at minimum is a text or two a day to say hello, goodnight, how was your day etc —not much to ask when I’m gone and we don’t plan to see each other for my entire stay abroad.

Right now, two things are really perplexing me that I’d love your advice on. First, he has recently said that he even likes not talking for a few days at a time because it makes him ‘yearn’ (??) for me in a different way than when we talk or text every day. I’m not sure what to make of this. I feel like I would have to fake being busy just to achieve the infrequent nature of communication he says makes him excited to speak to me. I have a rich life here, I work hard at my job and play hard with my friends, and still find it convenient to text or call. He, on the other hand, finds this difficult; it takes a lot of effort on his part I guess, and he doesn’t want to feel ‘required’ or ‘obligated’ to respond to me within 24 hours.

The second bit is that he said he would like to download this app which helps you find people in your area that like smoking weed to hang out with. I feel like this is really different from a lot of posts I see where women find their partners lying about being on dating websites—he’s at least asking me about it before doing it, and quite adamant that he will only be looking for platonic friends. I looked up this app though, and it is more like a Tinder for pot smokers. I explained that I’m not comfortable being half way across the world, and him browsing for local women based on their preference for smoking spot. It just seems like he would be placing himself in a pointlessly awkward position especially if these ladies are looking to hook-up. He said he understands where I’m coming from, but is going to do it anyway, platonically, and that if I have a problem with it it’s because I don’t trust him. So what is your take on this? My sense is that this kind of behavior is juvenile, that this isn’t a mature way for a monogamous man in an LDR to meet new friends, and that him saying he’s going to do it anyway flies in the face of any rhetoric around being open and honest by telling me about it first.

I think he is of the mind that if he is open and honest and upfront he should be able to do what he wants. However, to me,  being honest about needs and wants in a relationship means sometimes you have to compromise and not do everything that you want, or agree to not indulge because of divergent needs.

Thoughts?

Anonymous

If you want to know why it sometimes looks like the alpha male is getting the girl, read these amazing in-depth articles:

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He Says Im Amazing; So Why Did He Leave?

He’s Rich, I’m Not, is That Why He Broke Up With Me?

He Broke up After My Injury

I’m in the Friend Zone

Should I Pack my Things And Leave?


Dear Anonymous,

We love it when people use honesty as an excuse to misbehave. As in, “Honey, I’m just letting you know that I’m going to meet some new women, smoke some pot, hang out, have a little fun. But don’t worry. It’s no big deal. Trust me.” You do realize we’re being sarcastic. The fact that he’s trying to pin this on you is laughable, and actually insulting to your intelligence. Even if he is telling the truth and he just wants to meet new friends, he’s mistaken if he thinks that being in an honest relationship gives him carte blanche to behave however he chooses. The sort of honest relationship he’s describing is an “open” relationship, where both partners agree to a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, or in some cases an, “ask, tell, but don’t judge” policy.

Being in a honest and committed relationship means you have the other person’s back when you’re out in the world. It means when you make choices you think about the other person, not just yourself.

That means he should be asking himself questions like:

How would she feel about what I’m about to do?

Would I feel okay if she was behaving in this way?

Am I respecting our relationship by behaving the way I’m behaving?

Am I truly being honest about what my intentions are? To her? To myself?

From what you say about your relationship, it almost seems as if he was excited for the break, almost as if he was getting a six month reprieve from your relationship. What do you think? Certainly, we could be off-base here—you know him better than we do—but when you tell us he resists daily communication and is about to hook up with fellow potheads, we gotta wonder if he’s ready to be in the kind of relationship you believe you’re in. It just seems that the two of you are not on the same page. (How old are you? How old is he? Maybe his age is factoring in since he does seem immature.)

Either way, it’s okay to be honest with him about your feelings. (We don’t think you’re being unreasonable.) It seems a little odd that he all of a sudden needs to make more pot smoking friends.  Doesn’t he already have friends?

This is a no-brainer to us. It’s not about the pot, or the hookup app, or his lack of communication. No. The biggest issue you have is his unwillingness to listen to your concerns, consider your concerns, and change his behavior accordingly. He’s at that place where he’s not willing to compromise. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past and he’s all about, “accept me for who I am” but that’s a very young and narcissistic way of viewing the world and relationships. Experts often say, “You shouldn’t have to change for someone else” but it’s way more complicated than that. It’s true, your partner should accept you for who you are, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to become a more evolved person yourself. (If there is such a thing.) And honestly, if he doesn’t want to change for you, he might want to consider making some changes for himself. If not, he should be honest with you about what he really wants, or doesn’t want.

What do you think? Leave your comments/thoughts/questions in the comments’ section below. You must be Logged In to do so, but it’s easy.

All the best,

THE GUYS


" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/long-distance-etiquette.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(24925) "


 Hey Guys,

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years and recently I moved across the world for a six month contract, so we decided to do an LDR. He was very supportive of me moving and wanted the LDR just as much as I did. Throughout the LDR there have been ups and downs and my general overarching problem is that things keep happening that I can’t seem to discern if they are deal breakers or not, likely because I don’t want to end it and am (duh) afraid of how bad it will feel if I do.

In general, about once every month or so we have to have some discussion about how he needs space or feels irritated about having to contact me every day, or else I’ll ‘get upset’. I’m on the other side of the world, so I wonder how much more space he could have? All I’m asking for at minimum is a text or two a day to say hello, goodnight, how was your day etc —not much to ask when I’m gone and we don’t plan to see each other for my entire stay abroad.

Right now, two things are really perplexing me that I’d love your advice on. First, he has recently said that he even likes not talking for a few days at a time because it makes him ‘yearn’ (??) for me in a different way than when we talk or text every day. I’m not sure what to make of this. I feel like I would have to fake being busy just to achieve the infrequent nature of communication he says makes him excited to speak to me. I have a rich life here, I work hard at my job and play hard with my friends, and still find it convenient to text or call. He, on the other hand, finds this difficult; it takes a lot of effort on his part I guess, and he doesn’t want to feel ‘required’ or ‘obligated’ to respond to me within 24 hours.

The second bit is that he said he would like to download this app which helps you find people in your area that like smoking weed to hang out with. I feel like this is really different from a lot of posts I see where women find their partners lying about being on dating websites—he’s at least asking me about it before doing it, and quite adamant that he will only be looking for platonic friends. I looked up this app though, and it is more like a Tinder for pot smokers. I explained that I’m not comfortable being half way across the world, and him browsing for local women based on their preference for smoking spot. It just seems like he would be placing himself in a pointlessly awkward position especially if these ladies are looking to hook-up. He said he understands where I’m coming from, but is going to do it anyway, platonically, and that if I have a problem with it it’s because I don’t trust him. So what is your take on this? My sense is that this kind of behavior is juvenile, that this isn’t a mature way for a monogamous man in an LDR to meet new friends, and that him saying he’s going to do it anyway flies in the face of any rhetoric around being open and honest by telling me about it first.

I think he is of the mind that if he is open and honest and upfront he should be able to do what he wants. However, to me,  being honest about needs and wants in a relationship means sometimes you have to compromise and not do everything that you want, or agree to not indulge because of divergent needs.

Thoughts?

Anonymous

If you want to know why it sometimes looks like the alpha male is getting the girl, read these amazing in-depth articles:

5 Ways To Suck At Dating

5 Signs A Uruguay Girl Likes You

4 Tips On How To Plan A Date With A Girlfriend

31 Ways To Get Over A Breakup

3 Ways To Deal With The Infamous “Guilt Tripping Girlfriend” Tactic

3 Reasons I Dont Use Indirect Approaches

1 Simple Tip On How To Be Mysterious To Polish Women

What If Someone Sees Me Approaching a Girl?!?!

What It Doesn’t Tell You About How To Meet Beautiful Women

My boyfriend is flirting on Facebook; should I dump him?

He Acted like he Wanted a Relationship But Now He’s Cold to Me

He Says Im Amazing; So Why Did He Leave?

He’s Rich, I’m Not, is That Why He Broke Up With Me?

He Broke up After My Injury

I’m in the Friend Zone

Should I Pack my Things And Leave?


Dear Anonymous,

We love it when people use honesty as an excuse to misbehave. As in, “Honey, I’m just letting you know that I’m going to meet some new women, smoke some pot, hang out, have a little fun. But don’t worry. It’s no big deal. Trust me.” You do realize we’re being sarcastic. The fact that he’s trying to pin this on you is laughable, and actually insulting to your intelligence. Even if he is telling the truth and he just wants to meet new friends, he’s mistaken if he thinks that being in an honest relationship gives him carte blanche to behave however he chooses. The sort of honest relationship he’s describing is an “open” relationship, where both partners agree to a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, or in some cases an, “ask, tell, but don’t judge” policy.

Being in a honest and committed relationship means you have the other person’s back when you’re out in the world. It means when you make choices you think about the other person, not just yourself.

That means he should be asking himself questions like:

How would she feel about what I’m about to do?

Would I feel okay if she was behaving in this way?

Am I respecting our relationship by behaving the way I’m behaving?

Am I truly being honest about what my intentions are? To her? To myself?

From what you say about your relationship, it almost seems as if he was excited for the break, almost as if he was getting a six month reprieve from your relationship. What do you think? Certainly, we could be off-base here—you know him better than we do—but when you tell us he resists daily communication and is about to hook up with fellow potheads, we gotta wonder if he’s ready to be in the kind of relationship you believe you’re in. It just seems that the two of you are not on the same page. (How old are you? How old is he? Maybe his age is factoring in since he does seem immature.)

Either way, it’s okay to be honest with him about your feelings. (We don’t think you’re being unreasonable.) It seems a little odd that he all of a sudden needs to make more pot smoking friends.  Doesn’t he already have friends?

This is a no-brainer to us. It’s not about the pot, or the hookup app, or his lack of communication. No. The biggest issue you have is his unwillingness to listen to your concerns, consider your concerns, and change his behavior accordingly. He’s at that place where he’s not willing to compromise. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past and he’s all about, “accept me for who I am” but that’s a very young and narcissistic way of viewing the world and relationships. Experts often say, “You shouldn’t have to change for someone else” but it’s way more complicated than that. It’s true, your partner should accept you for who you are, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to become a more evolved person yourself. (If there is such a thing.) And honestly, if he doesn’t want to change for you, he might want to consider making some changes for himself. If not, he should be honest with you about what he really wants, or doesn’t want.

What do you think? Leave your comments/thoughts/questions in the comments’ section below. You must be Logged In to do so, but it’s easy.

All the best,

THE GUYS


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1598369400) } [13]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-860765538321588971" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 21 Aug 2020 15:59:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-21T08:59:36.064-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(47) "Bad Dating Advice For Men Series: Be Confident " ["description"]=> string(14472) "

 

The best way to avoid bad dating advice for men is to know it, and then avoid it. I guess you could say that knowing is half the battle. So in that vein of thought, we're starting a series of articles about really whack stuff we've heard that came at us as 'dating advice for men.' Some of it is from guys we've met, some of it we've read on the internet, some of it is cultural knowledge that floats around – but all of it is way off the mark, it messes guys up and moves them further away from finding sexy, cool, high value women of exceptional beauty and accomplishment.



Dude: You just gotta be confident. That’s it man. Gotta have confidence.
Me: …

Why is this bad dating advice for men?

It’s not that the ladies don’t love guys who have confidence… It’s just that this dating advice is so unspecific, so vague and so general that it’s pretty much meaningless for men who are serious about improving their dating lives and social lives. It’s almost as bad as “just be yourself” in terms of lack of clarity.

With all the dating advice for men that we dispense here at the fountainhead of dating knowledge known as DateMasters (haha, only serious), we always aim to give clear, actionable steps you can take to start getting results. The keyword here is actionable. We’re all about action. Lots of it. Massive action. (We have an 8-week Massive Action Roadmap in the book Meet More Women.

We don’t want you to sit down, relax, read our blog endlessly, tell all your friends about us, buy all our products, take all our training… and then never use a single thing we taught you.

Far more important is that everyone – including you – get up, get out and take action talking to as many women as possible, every single day. When you do that, you’ll see there’s a whole lot of solutions for your dating life that are far more specific and concrete than a content-less blanket statement like “be confident.”

We recommend critically examining any piece of dating advice for men you hear: First, question the piece of advice. Then, go verify or deny it’s validity through your own lived experience (kinda like the scientific method!). Here are some examples of questions you can use to dismantle the bad dating advice example above.

Dude: You just gotta be confident.

Really? What do you mean by confidence in this context?
If a man were so inclined to ‘be confident,’ what steps would he have to take?
Specifically, what is it about ‘confident guys’ that girls like?
What actions are considered ‘confident?’
What actions are NOT ‘confident?’
How do we measure confidence?
How would he know when he’s ‘confident’ enough?
Do all women love guys with ‘confidence?’ Are there any exceptions?
In who’s best interest is it that ‘confidence’ is the thing that supposedly attracts women?

Dealing With Rejection From Women

Dating Tips For Shy Guys

Dating Made Easy For Men Who Want The Best

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With A Girl

Dating And Mastery

25 Rock-Solid Dating Advice For Men Tips

Cherry Picking For Dating Tips

Are You Afraid Of Using The Word ‘Date’?

Creative First Date Ideas: Ping-Pong

¿El matrimonio realmente debe durar toda la vida?

Verdades No Contadas Sobre Las Citas online

WHAT MAKES YOU UNDATEABLE

What To Know When Dating a Type A Personality

Untold Truths About Online Dating

Portugal Dating

Portugal Women Dating

Portugal Single Men

Adult Online Dating: Attracting the Man You Want

Now, you can answer those yourself, use them as interview questions and ask guys around you who are successful with women and dating, or merely roll the questions around in your head, allowing your subconscious to work on the issue. The most important step is, of course, to go live your own experiences. That means to get up, get out, and go talk to women while experimenting with what you’ve come to believe ‘confidence’ is. Maybe you’ll find that the ladies really do love guys who have confidence. Maybe you’ll find that, under your definition of confidence, there’s absolutely nothing attractive about it. Maybe you’ll come to an entirely different understanding of what confidence is and how to use it.

Do You Believe This Misleading Dating Myth?

The key point is: Now you’re able to take an unclear, unspecific piece of dating advice for men and turn it into a series of thought processes and actionable strategies in order to actual draw out useful information and experiences for yourself.

 


" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/bad-dating-advice-for-men-series-be.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14472) "

 

The best way to avoid bad dating advice for men is to know it, and then avoid it. I guess you could say that knowing is half the battle. So in that vein of thought, we're starting a series of articles about really whack stuff we've heard that came at us as 'dating advice for men.' Some of it is from guys we've met, some of it we've read on the internet, some of it is cultural knowledge that floats around – but all of it is way off the mark, it messes guys up and moves them further away from finding sexy, cool, high value women of exceptional beauty and accomplishment.



Dude: You just gotta be confident. That’s it man. Gotta have confidence.
Me: …

Why is this bad dating advice for men?

It’s not that the ladies don’t love guys who have confidence… It’s just that this dating advice is so unspecific, so vague and so general that it’s pretty much meaningless for men who are serious about improving their dating lives and social lives. It’s almost as bad as “just be yourself” in terms of lack of clarity.

With all the dating advice for men that we dispense here at the fountainhead of dating knowledge known as DateMasters (haha, only serious), we always aim to give clear, actionable steps you can take to start getting results. The keyword here is actionable. We’re all about action. Lots of it. Massive action. (We have an 8-week Massive Action Roadmap in the book Meet More Women.

We don’t want you to sit down, relax, read our blog endlessly, tell all your friends about us, buy all our products, take all our training… and then never use a single thing we taught you.

Far more important is that everyone – including you – get up, get out and take action talking to as many women as possible, every single day. When you do that, you’ll see there’s a whole lot of solutions for your dating life that are far more specific and concrete than a content-less blanket statement like “be confident.”

We recommend critically examining any piece of dating advice for men you hear: First, question the piece of advice. Then, go verify or deny it’s validity through your own lived experience (kinda like the scientific method!). Here are some examples of questions you can use to dismantle the bad dating advice example above.

Dude: You just gotta be confident.

Really? What do you mean by confidence in this context?
If a man were so inclined to ‘be confident,’ what steps would he have to take?
Specifically, what is it about ‘confident guys’ that girls like?
What actions are considered ‘confident?’
What actions are NOT ‘confident?’
How do we measure confidence?
How would he know when he’s ‘confident’ enough?
Do all women love guys with ‘confidence?’ Are there any exceptions?
In who’s best interest is it that ‘confidence’ is the thing that supposedly attracts women?

Dealing With Rejection From Women

Dating Tips For Shy Guys

Dating Made Easy For Men Who Want The Best

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With A Girl

Dating And Mastery

25 Rock-Solid Dating Advice For Men Tips

Cherry Picking For Dating Tips

Are You Afraid Of Using The Word ‘Date’?

Creative First Date Ideas: Ping-Pong

¿El matrimonio realmente debe durar toda la vida?

Verdades No Contadas Sobre Las Citas online

WHAT MAKES YOU UNDATEABLE

What To Know When Dating a Type A Personality

Untold Truths About Online Dating

Portugal Dating

Portugal Women Dating

Portugal Single Men

Adult Online Dating: Attracting the Man You Want

Now, you can answer those yourself, use them as interview questions and ask guys around you who are successful with women and dating, or merely roll the questions around in your head, allowing your subconscious to work on the issue. The most important step is, of course, to go live your own experiences. That means to get up, get out, and go talk to women while experimenting with what you’ve come to believe ‘confidence’ is. Maybe you’ll find that the ladies really do love guys who have confidence. Maybe you’ll find that, under your definition of confidence, there’s absolutely nothing attractive about it. Maybe you’ll come to an entirely different understanding of what confidence is and how to use it.

Do You Believe This Misleading Dating Myth?

The key point is: Now you’re able to take an unclear, unspecific piece of dating advice for men and turn it into a series of thought processes and actionable strategies in order to actual draw out useful information and experiences for yourself.

 


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1598025540) } [14]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1777936287238788172" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 20 Aug 2020 14:13:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-20T07:52:10.201-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(72) "How to Ask a Girl for Her Phone Number When She’s Too Far Away to Talk" ["description"]=> string(21813) "

 


Guys who have read Meet More Women will know that we advocate very simple but powerful methods for meeting women. Why?

Well, number one, through tens of thousands of tests, we have discovered that staying simple simply gets the best results, regardless of your dating goals.

Number two, it makes life a whole heck of a lot easier for us as men.

For you math majors out there: Better Results + Much Easier = Yes, Please!

Let’s face it, most dating advice for men out there tends to make meeting women a whole lot more complicated and daunting than it really is. That’s why I’m writing this post today – to share personal stories of myself approaching women and asking for phone numbers WITHOUT using “game,” persuasion, seduction and all that other mumbo-jumbo. Any attraction or chemistry between myself and the girl is mutual. It’s not “me trying to get the girl.” It is simply “me and a girl getting to know each other, mutually working together to move things forward.” If it’s not mutual, I don’t want it (and will actively walk away from it).


When you relax, study all of the free advice we give you on this site and sign up for our free newsletter, you will find that meeting and dating starts to become a whole lot more easy and simple for you.

So, let’s get down to business.

How to Ask a Girl for Her Phone Number When She’s Too Far Away to Talk


Now, for those of you who don’t know, I approach 30 attractive women a day, according to a system developed by Loveawake. The way we do it makes everything very simple, straightforward and easy, so it only takes about an hour a day to have more women in my life than I could possibly ever date. What happens when you meet so many women? You start finding some truly Amazing Women who really like you, and all women who don’t completely knock your socks of simply get left behind. Let me tell you, for an hour a day the payoffs are HUGE! Why do you think we, at DateMasters, have all our dating issues solved?

Anyways, back to the story.

I had just finished up doing The Daily 30 (approaching 30 women a day). I was waiting for my train, walking along the platform to find a place to stand. While I was looking across the platform at another train waiting to leave, I noticed a cute girl looking back at me from inside a faraway train that was about to leave.

I smiled at her. She smiled back.

We were too far away to talk (plus we were separated by the tracks). So I pulled out my phone and tried to motion for her to tell me her phone number. I have actually gotten a girls phone number my motioning this way before. I was in a coffee shop on the second floor of a building and saw her through the window on the street. We caught each others eyes and I signaled for her to give me her number. She did and we had a short conversation on the phone through the glass.

Back to the girl in the train. She pulled out her phone.

Then she pointed upstairs, above the tracks, to a place we could actually meet and talk. I met her up there. Her train left without her.

“Hi. How are you?”

We then had a few minutes of light, playful conversation.

My train was leaving soon so I asked for her phone number.

“Tell me your phone number.”

“Sure!”

I wished her a good rest of the day and then I went down to catch my train.

On the stairs going down towards my train there was another, even prettier girl walking next to me in a skirt. But that’s a story for another day (I’ll make that a future blog post).

Guys, it’s really simple.

Say “hello.” Ask for her name. Ask for her number.

That’s it. That is the core of what you need to do. It also helps to have fun conversation that makes her laugh too. If you and the girl are mutually attracted to each other, everything will go well with a casual, fun conversation (unless guys mess it up by doing any number of things that most dating coaches advise guys to do).

If you’re not taking those core actions then you are not doing what is necessary to meet and date the women you want. Everything else will follow after you start making it a habit to take those actions.

Approach. Say hi. Ask for her name. Make her laugh. Ask for her number.

If she says yes. That’s okay.

If she says no. That’s okay too. Confident, strong men accept no as an answer. Keep approaching attractive women. Eventually you’ll find more and more who you really have chemistry with. Then you will be amazed at how smoothly everything flows and how eager she is to give you her number.

 BBW Women 

 

If you liked that post, you might also like to find American BBW, by following the links below…

 

Georgia California Arkansas Minnesota Pennsylvania Delaware Hawaii

Montana New Mexico South Carolina Louisiana Rhode Island Connecticut

Oregon Alaska Missouri Arizona Tennessee Ohio Texas Nebraska

North Carolina Indiana Michigan North Dakota Idaho Colorado

New Hampshire New York West Virginia South Dakota Maine Illinois

Massachusetts Maryland Kansas Oklahoma Florida Wisconsin Vermont Iowa

Kentucky Mississippi Wyoming Virginia

" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/how-to-ask-girl-for-her-phone-number.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(21813) "

 


Guys who have read Meet More Women will know that we advocate very simple but powerful methods for meeting women. Why?

Well, number one, through tens of thousands of tests, we have discovered that staying simple simply gets the best results, regardless of your dating goals.

Number two, it makes life a whole heck of a lot easier for us as men.

For you math majors out there: Better Results + Much Easier = Yes, Please!

Let’s face it, most dating advice for men out there tends to make meeting women a whole lot more complicated and daunting than it really is. That’s why I’m writing this post today – to share personal stories of myself approaching women and asking for phone numbers WITHOUT using “game,” persuasion, seduction and all that other mumbo-jumbo. Any attraction or chemistry between myself and the girl is mutual. It’s not “me trying to get the girl.” It is simply “me and a girl getting to know each other, mutually working together to move things forward.” If it’s not mutual, I don’t want it (and will actively walk away from it).


When you relax, study all of the free advice we give you on this site and sign up for our free newsletter, you will find that meeting and dating starts to become a whole lot more easy and simple for you.

So, let’s get down to business.

How to Ask a Girl for Her Phone Number When She’s Too Far Away to Talk


Now, for those of you who don’t know, I approach 30 attractive women a day, according to a system developed by Loveawake. The way we do it makes everything very simple, straightforward and easy, so it only takes about an hour a day to have more women in my life than I could possibly ever date. What happens when you meet so many women? You start finding some truly Amazing Women who really like you, and all women who don’t completely knock your socks of simply get left behind. Let me tell you, for an hour a day the payoffs are HUGE! Why do you think we, at DateMasters, have all our dating issues solved?

Anyways, back to the story.

I had just finished up doing The Daily 30 (approaching 30 women a day). I was waiting for my train, walking along the platform to find a place to stand. While I was looking across the platform at another train waiting to leave, I noticed a cute girl looking back at me from inside a faraway train that was about to leave.

I smiled at her. She smiled back.

We were too far away to talk (plus we were separated by the tracks). So I pulled out my phone and tried to motion for her to tell me her phone number. I have actually gotten a girls phone number my motioning this way before. I was in a coffee shop on the second floor of a building and saw her through the window on the street. We caught each others eyes and I signaled for her to give me her number. She did and we had a short conversation on the phone through the glass.

Back to the girl in the train. She pulled out her phone.

Then she pointed upstairs, above the tracks, to a place we could actually meet and talk. I met her up there. Her train left without her.

“Hi. How are you?”

We then had a few minutes of light, playful conversation.

My train was leaving soon so I asked for her phone number.

“Tell me your phone number.”

“Sure!”

I wished her a good rest of the day and then I went down to catch my train.

On the stairs going down towards my train there was another, even prettier girl walking next to me in a skirt. But that’s a story for another day (I’ll make that a future blog post).

Guys, it’s really simple.

Say “hello.” Ask for her name. Ask for her number.

That’s it. That is the core of what you need to do. It also helps to have fun conversation that makes her laugh too. If you and the girl are mutually attracted to each other, everything will go well with a casual, fun conversation (unless guys mess it up by doing any number of things that most dating coaches advise guys to do).

If you’re not taking those core actions then you are not doing what is necessary to meet and date the women you want. Everything else will follow after you start making it a habit to take those actions.

Approach. Say hi. Ask for her name. Make her laugh. Ask for her number.

If she says yes. That’s okay.

If she says no. That’s okay too. Confident, strong men accept no as an answer. Keep approaching attractive women. Eventually you’ll find more and more who you really have chemistry with. Then you will be amazed at how smoothly everything flows and how eager she is to give you her number.

 BBW Women 

 

If you liked that post, you might also like to find American BBW, by following the links below…

 

Georgia California Arkansas Minnesota Pennsylvania Delaware Hawaii

Montana New Mexico South Carolina Louisiana Rhode Island Connecticut

Oregon Alaska Missouri Arizona Tennessee Ohio Texas Nebraska

North Carolina Indiana Michigan North Dakota Idaho Colorado

New Hampshire New York West Virginia South Dakota Maine Illinois

Massachusetts Maryland Kansas Oklahoma Florida Wisconsin Vermont Iowa

Kentucky Mississippi Wyoming Virginia

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597932780) } [15]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-5237759014990593484" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 19 Aug 2020 16:11:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-19T09:11:45.366-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(73) "Are You New to Online Dating? Don’t Fret-Here’s A Guide Just for You!" ["description"]=> string(11397) "

Online Dating Sites-Make Them Work for You

The online dating world today is a far cry from what it used to be. Where in the past only a few people had the nerve to try using one to push their love life to the limits, in today’s modern age, more than 20 million singles visit these dating sites-every month! But here’s the problem, most of the people using the sites do not know how to make them work to their advantage. And for those beginners who are just starting out who don’t know their way around a site, it can be murder on their luck-and their morale- trying to find someone. For these beginners, their success rates of finding love online are very low.

Why is this? Well, there are a few different reasons. The first being the quality of the site you have chosen to use. Some online dating sites really are better than the others in many respects in terms of traffic to the site, how easy or difficult it is to navigate the site, and the amount of real people with real profiles, and not just spammers signed up for the site’s services. All of these things will affect the way the site works for you.

The biggest problem affecting the chances of meeting someone is what you do when you are on the site. How do you use the services offered? Do you make use of them? Are you actually active on the site, or are you just sitting there quietly hoping someone will stumble upon your profile? Here are some simple steps, which you are probably already aware of, that will help you find love by making the online dating site of your choice work to your advantage.

Step 1-Work the Profile!

I know this is obvious, but you would be amazed at how many people out there on the sites do not complete their profile. Some of these people are even so vain as to think they can get away with just a name and a photo of themselves. This simply does not cut it. Of course, throwing up a sexy photo hoping to catch the first thing that comes along to sleep with works for some people, but I am hoping I write for a better cause than just a quick Wham-bam… Well you know the rest.

Ok, so here’s what you need to do, when you are filling out a great profile, it will need to include the basic stuff like what you look like and where you are from. But here’s the trick. You will need to get creative without being dishonest. Creativity goes a long way in terms of an online profile. This is because you don’t want your profile to get mixed in with all the rest. Instead, you will want it to stand out above all the others. You are here to find someone, right? Well make it worth their while to look at your profile, and you might see yourself fending off many more people than you imagined. If you can manage to be different than the others, and get your profile noticed, your success in finding someone online is almost guaranteed.

Related Articles

Are you Dating Online Yet?

Online Dating

Great Dating Profile Writing That Anyone Can Pull Off!

Unknown Facts About Women: Women Are Human Too!

Unknown Facts About Women

Tips to Tell if He is Really Into Or Will He Just Love You and Run?

Tips to Tell if He is Really Into Being With You

This One is For The Guys: Top Three Tips For the First Date

Ready to Go-Or Rebound Row?

Love for the Holiday’s

Online Dating: Not A Game Anymore

The Evolution of Online Dating

Step 2-Never Skip the Photo!

This also seems like an obvious thing to say, but you would be surprised to find how many people are hoping to not to have to show themselves to everyone, for a couple of reasons. First, some people are still afraid of being stuck with the taboo dating site label. Meaning they are afraid to show their face on the site because they don’t want to be recognized by anyone they know. The problem with this thinking is you signed yup to meet someone, and they are going to want to know what you look like. 97% of all people browsing through singles on a site will not stop and take the time to read a profile that is missing a photo. You might as well not exist or be there on the site to begin with.

Another reason is people hope others will read their profile and want to date them on complete word of the profile itself. They want their written information to do the trick, not their looks. But again, this is a flawed way of thinking. No one looks at a profile with a missing picture, period. Also, some people will wonder what it is that you are hiding by not showing your picture on the site. Could you be married looking for a fling and are not showing your photo because you are afraid of being caught? Could you be a spammer or a scammer trying not to get too noticed? Why don’t you want a picture? The other singles on the site will never trust you without a picture.

Step 3-Reach Out to Others

While it is perfectly fine to sit and wait for others to contact you, most of the time you are one out of thousands of people just like you. So chances of you being contacted are slim to none on that reason alone. Also, on most dating sites there is a script written into the source code of the website that knows when you are online and being active. This script then tells the site to post your photo in certain places, or not. Meaning the more active you are on the site, the more hits you will get to your profile. A site will not feature you anywhere, not even on the browse list, where the singles can look at people’s profiles and pics, if it detects you aren’t doing anything to help yourself. You simply must be a proactive person to get ahead in life, and on an online dating site those rules are no different.

What you need to do is reach out to others. Chat with others, message them, direct message them. Talk to as many people as you can to keep your profile as active as you can. This will guarantee it is seen as much as possible. It also shows others that you are serious in looking to find a love interest. Who wants to talk to someone who is so uninterested they don’t do anything on the site they signed up for? You did sign up, right? Do something about it!

Step 4-Learn to be a Writer

Well, not in the professional sense, anyway. When you sign up for an online dating site, you have to create a profile for people to read, right? So you have to have a command of the English language for the most part, right? Or a command of the main language of the site you are on, anyway. Well, this is also true when you want to chat or direct message someone on the site. You will need to know how to write well so you can say what it is you want to say without looking as if you are uneducated. And as for the content, well again you need to be creative. You need to make these messages stand out from all the others because there will probably be many others along with yours.

What are you supposed to write? Well, for the most part, it si up to you, really. I cannot tell you what to say. What I can tell you is to be honest. You never want to tell someone something that isn’t true because if the day comes along and they want to meet you, you have to figure out how to tell them you lied. No matter what it is. Either that or you will have to keep on lying to keep the original lie going. That can become real difficult after a while. So, while remembering to be creative, tell them about yourself. Tell them what prompted you to write them. Be honest and it will be appreciated, I promise.

Step 5-Keep Going Back

You know how when a person signs up for a site online, no matter what it may be, they have a tendency to forget about it after awhile and move on to bigger and better things? Well, when you sign up to a site you want to make sure that when you sign back out, you don’t forget about it. This is for a few reasons. First, it will help in keeping your profile at the top of the list because you are staying active. Second, you never know who has signed up since your last visit.

When you sign up to a site, it doesn’t mean that’s all the singles there are ever going to be. I told you earlier there are more than 20 million hits to online dating sites every month. That means more and more people are signing up for these sites every day, and sometimes signing up for multiple sites. This means if you don’t check back every so often, you may never actually find someone whom you are compatible with. Your one true love could have signed up for the site a few minutes after you signed out-and you may never get to meet that person if you don’t check up once in a while.

Keep Your Head Up

Whatever you do, don’t become discouraged. It is very rare to find someone whom you are compatible with on the first try. Online dating sites sometimes take a lot of work but in the end, if you find someone you want to date and it works out, all the work is worth it, don’t you think?

" ["link"]=> string(87) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/are-you-new-to-online-dating-dont-fret.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(11397) "

Online Dating Sites-Make Them Work for You

The online dating world today is a far cry from what it used to be. Where in the past only a few people had the nerve to try using one to push their love life to the limits, in today’s modern age, more than 20 million singles visit these dating sites-every month! But here’s the problem, most of the people using the sites do not know how to make them work to their advantage. And for those beginners who are just starting out who don’t know their way around a site, it can be murder on their luck-and their morale- trying to find someone. For these beginners, their success rates of finding love online are very low.

Why is this? Well, there are a few different reasons. The first being the quality of the site you have chosen to use. Some online dating sites really are better than the others in many respects in terms of traffic to the site, how easy or difficult it is to navigate the site, and the amount of real people with real profiles, and not just spammers signed up for the site’s services. All of these things will affect the way the site works for you.

The biggest problem affecting the chances of meeting someone is what you do when you are on the site. How do you use the services offered? Do you make use of them? Are you actually active on the site, or are you just sitting there quietly hoping someone will stumble upon your profile? Here are some simple steps, which you are probably already aware of, that will help you find love by making the online dating site of your choice work to your advantage.

Step 1-Work the Profile!

I know this is obvious, but you would be amazed at how many people out there on the sites do not complete their profile. Some of these people are even so vain as to think they can get away with just a name and a photo of themselves. This simply does not cut it. Of course, throwing up a sexy photo hoping to catch the first thing that comes along to sleep with works for some people, but I am hoping I write for a better cause than just a quick Wham-bam… Well you know the rest.

Ok, so here’s what you need to do, when you are filling out a great profile, it will need to include the basic stuff like what you look like and where you are from. But here’s the trick. You will need to get creative without being dishonest. Creativity goes a long way in terms of an online profile. This is because you don’t want your profile to get mixed in with all the rest. Instead, you will want it to stand out above all the others. You are here to find someone, right? Well make it worth their while to look at your profile, and you might see yourself fending off many more people than you imagined. If you can manage to be different than the others, and get your profile noticed, your success in finding someone online is almost guaranteed.

Related Articles

Are you Dating Online Yet?

Online Dating

Great Dating Profile Writing That Anyone Can Pull Off!

Unknown Facts About Women: Women Are Human Too!

Unknown Facts About Women

Tips to Tell if He is Really Into Or Will He Just Love You and Run?

Tips to Tell if He is Really Into Being With You

This One is For The Guys: Top Three Tips For the First Date

Ready to Go-Or Rebound Row?

Love for the Holiday’s

Online Dating: Not A Game Anymore

The Evolution of Online Dating

Step 2-Never Skip the Photo!

This also seems like an obvious thing to say, but you would be surprised to find how many people are hoping to not to have to show themselves to everyone, for a couple of reasons. First, some people are still afraid of being stuck with the taboo dating site label. Meaning they are afraid to show their face on the site because they don’t want to be recognized by anyone they know. The problem with this thinking is you signed yup to meet someone, and they are going to want to know what you look like. 97% of all people browsing through singles on a site will not stop and take the time to read a profile that is missing a photo. You might as well not exist or be there on the site to begin with.

Another reason is people hope others will read their profile and want to date them on complete word of the profile itself. They want their written information to do the trick, not their looks. But again, this is a flawed way of thinking. No one looks at a profile with a missing picture, period. Also, some people will wonder what it is that you are hiding by not showing your picture on the site. Could you be married looking for a fling and are not showing your photo because you are afraid of being caught? Could you be a spammer or a scammer trying not to get too noticed? Why don’t you want a picture? The other singles on the site will never trust you without a picture.

Step 3-Reach Out to Others

While it is perfectly fine to sit and wait for others to contact you, most of the time you are one out of thousands of people just like you. So chances of you being contacted are slim to none on that reason alone. Also, on most dating sites there is a script written into the source code of the website that knows when you are online and being active. This script then tells the site to post your photo in certain places, or not. Meaning the more active you are on the site, the more hits you will get to your profile. A site will not feature you anywhere, not even on the browse list, where the singles can look at people’s profiles and pics, if it detects you aren’t doing anything to help yourself. You simply must be a proactive person to get ahead in life, and on an online dating site those rules are no different.

What you need to do is reach out to others. Chat with others, message them, direct message them. Talk to as many people as you can to keep your profile as active as you can. This will guarantee it is seen as much as possible. It also shows others that you are serious in looking to find a love interest. Who wants to talk to someone who is so uninterested they don’t do anything on the site they signed up for? You did sign up, right? Do something about it!

Step 4-Learn to be a Writer

Well, not in the professional sense, anyway. When you sign up for an online dating site, you have to create a profile for people to read, right? So you have to have a command of the English language for the most part, right? Or a command of the main language of the site you are on, anyway. Well, this is also true when you want to chat or direct message someone on the site. You will need to know how to write well so you can say what it is you want to say without looking as if you are uneducated. And as for the content, well again you need to be creative. You need to make these messages stand out from all the others because there will probably be many others along with yours.

What are you supposed to write? Well, for the most part, it si up to you, really. I cannot tell you what to say. What I can tell you is to be honest. You never want to tell someone something that isn’t true because if the day comes along and they want to meet you, you have to figure out how to tell them you lied. No matter what it is. Either that or you will have to keep on lying to keep the original lie going. That can become real difficult after a while. So, while remembering to be creative, tell them about yourself. Tell them what prompted you to write them. Be honest and it will be appreciated, I promise.

Step 5-Keep Going Back

You know how when a person signs up for a site online, no matter what it may be, they have a tendency to forget about it after awhile and move on to bigger and better things? Well, when you sign up to a site you want to make sure that when you sign back out, you don’t forget about it. This is for a few reasons. First, it will help in keeping your profile at the top of the list because you are staying active. Second, you never know who has signed up since your last visit.

When you sign up to a site, it doesn’t mean that’s all the singles there are ever going to be. I told you earlier there are more than 20 million hits to online dating sites every month. That means more and more people are signing up for these sites every day, and sometimes signing up for multiple sites. This means if you don’t check back every so often, you may never actually find someone whom you are compatible with. Your one true love could have signed up for the site a few minutes after you signed out-and you may never get to meet that person if you don’t check up once in a while.

Keep Your Head Up

Whatever you do, don’t become discouraged. It is very rare to find someone whom you are compatible with on the first try. Online dating sites sometimes take a lot of work but in the end, if you find someone you want to date and it works out, all the work is worth it, don’t you think?

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597853460) } [16]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-3113481621828557404" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 18 Aug 2020 15:47:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-18T08:47:59.566-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(13) "The Addiction" ["description"]=> string(9498) "


Looking ahead to the week.

Our first installment of: RELATIONSHIP HUMOR…….TOMORROW!!

PLUS:

Questions/Answers

HOT or NOT?

The GUY's Horizon

Here's our next question:

Dear Guys,

I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man. He’s pretty much exactly what I’m looking for, except one thing. He smokes. I don’t. He’s very considerate and always smokes outside, but something about it doesn’t sit right with me. What can I do?

Deirdra in Texas

 Hey Deirdra,

Unfortunately you can’t do anything about it. It’s an addiction. And it’s not an easy addiction to get over. Some of THE GUYS used to smoke and some still do. Even THE GUYS that have quit, say they wake up most
mornings wishing they could have a cigarette. So as you can imagine, it’s not an easy situation to be in no matter how you look at.

We have some questions for you. Have you said anything to him about how you feel? We’re assuming you have. If so, how did he respond? You’re going to have to take your cues from him. Does he want to quit? And we
don’t mean in general terms. We mean, is he 100% committed to quitting? Otherwise it’s going to be a losing battle for him and you. He has to be ready on his own to go through it. And if he chooses that path, it’s your job as someone who cares for him to support him in anyway you can. That’s the best you can do.

If he’s not 100% ready to quit, then you have to decide how long you want to wait before he makes a decision. And if his decision is, he wants to be a smoker, you’ll have to figure out what you want to do moving forward.

That’s about all we can say. We’re not experts on addiction. We hope this is helpful.

THE GUYS

TEXT LESS, ROCK MORE DATES

7 CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT RUIN FIRST DATES

THE FAST WAY OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE

CHRISTIAN ONLINE DATING SITES: WHICH IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

Worst and Best Pickup Lines EVER!

Date Movies to Get You Laid

Over 50 Online Dating: 5 “crucial” tips for success

Black Online Dating: which sites are worth your while?

How People Fall In Love

Single Parent Dating Tips

Online Dating After a Divorce

Can We Control Our Dates Thoughts?

How to Mingle with the Locals

Why It’s Still Better to Be Manly Than ‘Nice’

Slandering your ex on your personal blog

Should I let him Win?

Online Dating For Widows when is the right time?

Chivalry Gone Too Far?

Cheap Date Ideas

Do Looks Matter When Dating?


" ["link"]=> string(62) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-addiction.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9498) "


Looking ahead to the week.

Our first installment of: RELATIONSHIP HUMOR…….TOMORROW!!

PLUS:

Questions/Answers

HOT or NOT?

The GUY's Horizon

Here's our next question:

Dear Guys,

I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man. He’s pretty much exactly what I’m looking for, except one thing. He smokes. I don’t. He’s very considerate and always smokes outside, but something about it doesn’t sit right with me. What can I do?

Deirdra in Texas

 Hey Deirdra,

Unfortunately you can’t do anything about it. It’s an addiction. And it’s not an easy addiction to get over. Some of THE GUYS used to smoke and some still do. Even THE GUYS that have quit, say they wake up most
mornings wishing they could have a cigarette. So as you can imagine, it’s not an easy situation to be in no matter how you look at.

We have some questions for you. Have you said anything to him about how you feel? We’re assuming you have. If so, how did he respond? You’re going to have to take your cues from him. Does he want to quit? And we
don’t mean in general terms. We mean, is he 100% committed to quitting? Otherwise it’s going to be a losing battle for him and you. He has to be ready on his own to go through it. And if he chooses that path, it’s your job as someone who cares for him to support him in anyway you can. That’s the best you can do.

If he’s not 100% ready to quit, then you have to decide how long you want to wait before he makes a decision. And if his decision is, he wants to be a smoker, you’ll have to figure out what you want to do moving forward.

That’s about all we can say. We’re not experts on addiction. We hope this is helpful.

THE GUYS

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CHRISTIAN ONLINE DATING SITES: WHICH IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

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Over 50 Online Dating: 5 “crucial” tips for success

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Single Parent Dating Tips

Online Dating After a Divorce

Can We Control Our Dates Thoughts?

How to Mingle with the Locals

Why It’s Still Better to Be Manly Than ‘Nice’

Slandering your ex on your personal blog

Should I let him Win?

Online Dating For Widows when is the right time?

Chivalry Gone Too Far?

Cheap Date Ideas

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" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597765620) } [17]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-2668033694210042239" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 14 Aug 2020 17:48:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-14T10:49:00.144-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(49) "Friends with the opposite sex: Am I just jealous?" ["description"]=> string(28456) "


 Please visit our new VIDEO PAGE and check out our new videos:

https://aalrc.instructure.com/eportfolios/363/Home/Long_distance_relationship_push_and_pull

https://achievereducation.instructure.com/eportfolios/55/_/Long_distance_relationship_Trying_again

https://acsc.instructure.com/eportfolios/255/Home/Cheating_Boyfriend_How_do_I_know_it_wont_happen_again

https://american-heritage.instructure.com/eportfolios/61970/_/DTR_talk_required_Id_like_to_Define_the_Relationship

https://arrowhead.instructure.com/eportfolios/593/Home/Will_he_ever_leave_his_marriage_for_me

https://bluecc.instructure.com/eportfolios/199/Home/Hes_at_a_different_college_and_in_a_fraternity_but_does_my_ex_still_love_me

https://canvas.drieam.nl/eportfolios/31/Home/My_slip_keeps_showing_Is_this_causing_an_office_relationship_problem

https://canvas.elsevier.com/eportfolios/5928/Home/Is_this_an_Online_Romance_or_an_Online_Booty_Call

https://canvas.instructure.com/eportfolios/89793/Home/Why_did_we_really_break_up

https://canvas.umw.edu/eportfolios/70222/_/Contemplating_a_long_distance_relationship_Could_we_be_something_more

https://canvas.yc.edu/eportfolios/621/_/I_like_a_gay_guy_what_do_I_do

https://ciee.instructure.com/eportfolios/397/Home/Divorced_and_now_online_Dating_Am_I_booty_call_or_more

https://cole2.uconline.edu/eportfolios/27461/_/Relationship_and_Dating_Advice_Wooing_at_a_distance

https://detaildivisionen.instructure.com/eportfolios/448/Startside/Text_messaging_tears_and_betrayal


Or check out our You Tube Channel. Please Subscribe and leave us a comment.

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all of your questions. We have a serious backlog, but we are working hard at answering them as quickly as possible. Thanks for your patience. Anyone that DONATES to THE GUYS will be moved to the top of the queue, which means we will answer your question within 2-3 days. (See PayPal button on right side of any page.) Yes, we will still try to answer all questions, but questions unaccompanied by a donation become part of the general queue which has a three to four week delay right now. And of course it’s not possible to get to every one.

Please also keep in mind, that although your questions are personal, they are meant for public consumption on this site. Meaning, we’ll be answering them on our blog. (On the “Ask the Guys” page.)

For those of you who have donated to us, THANK YOU. It does take considerable time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. And yes, there are real guys behind the scenes discussing the questions, and responding.

If you’re not sure how much to donate, just give what you’re comfortable with—whatever good advice is worth to you.

Thanks again,

THE GUYS

Some recent questions:

https://dillard.instructure.com/eportfolios/129/Home/Should_I_start_an_affair

https://dps.instructure.com/eportfolios/27614/Home/Dumped_by_text

https://zcs.instructure.com/eportfolios/892/Home/Does_future_career_always_trump_future_relationship

https://eastsideprep.instructure.com/eportfolios/61971/_/Why_does_he_have_a_second_Facebook_page_What_is_this_guys_MO

https://edunow.today/eportfolios/6/Home/Long_distance_relationship_He_cheated_on_me_and_told_me

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https://iebh.instructure.com/eportfolios/108/Pgina_de_Inicio/Hurt_and_Confused_in_long_distance_relationship

https://imesd.instructure.com/eportfolios/142/Home/Jealousy_Friends_of_the_opposite_sex

https://isp.instructure.com/eportfolios/93/Home/Is_he_stubborn_or_just_not_into_me

https://ldsd.instructure.com/eportfolios/125/Home/Did_he_ever_care_at_all

https://mbsedu.instructure.com/eportfolios/332/Home/Four_years_of_mixed_messages

Hi guys!

My boyfriend has a friend of the opposite sex that I don’t particularly care for. She is the ex of one of his friends. He says they never hang out alone and that he sees her as a tomboy. When I finally met her she snubbed me. We all went out to eat and she sat right across from me and didn’t say a word to me. After that I didn’t bother to try to get to know her. I told my boyfriend how I felt and he just said I was overreacting. He’s upfront about her and tells me everything.  It’s just so annoying that she texts him all the time and tries to do stuff with him—without me of course. She is now pregnant and texts him everything about her pregnancy even when her water broke. It just seems too much and I don’t get why she tries to always get my boyfriend’s attention, especially when she has a boyfriend of her own.

When I confront my boyfriend he says I’m crazy and he always defends her instead of understanding where I am coming from. It’s not like they were friends before we started dating. They started hanging out because they hang out in the same crowd and she got his number from someone and they have bee texting ever since. I know of this girl and she’s not the most faithful in relationships, so it makes me even more skeptical.

Am I just jealous of this girl? Should I confront her? I don’t know what to do.

Dri

Dri,

Thanks for your question.

No you should not confront her. But you should sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart-to-heart with him. You may, or may not be overreacting, but that’s not for him to decide. The two of you need to talk this through.

Clearly she has some kind of interest in him, but still that has nothing to do with you. You have no control over her, and nor should you waste your energy trying to exert control over her. This has more to do with your own relationship. Your boyfriend should be trying to reassure you that all is well, rather than making light of it. (Although, if jealousy is a pattern with you, that’s a different story. We’re assuming no, as we answer your question.)

We believe people in relationships can have friends of the opposite sex, and in fact we encourage it. The world is too interesting a place to restrict yourself to 50% of the population. However there are a few rules that apply, and your boyfriend may be crossing the line.

We’re speaking to all the boyfriends and girlfriends out there:

1. Never put your friend in front of your boyfriend/girlfriend.

2. Doing activities that are typically reserved for your boyfriend/girlfriend are a no, no. (Dinner, Movies) Unless it’s been discussed ahead of time and everyone is on the same page and okay with it.

3. There should never be any type of hidden conversation going on, or other secrets. And constant texting seems a bit much.

4. If your friend is actually hoping a romantic relationship might develop, then it’s time to pull the plug on the friendship, or at discuss the boundaries.

5. You need to reassure your partner that nothing funny is going on.

6. Your friendship has to feel comfortable for everyone involved.

(Of course some partners will be jealous no matter what is going on. If that’s the case, it could be the partner’s issues.)

One last thought: We also wonder what her boyfriend thinks about her texting some other guy constantly, since she is pregnant with their child? She is definitely crossing the line as well. But once again, that’s something she and her boyfriend have to figure out. You should focus on your relationship.

We hope this puts things in perspective for you Dria.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

ps. Let your friends know about us. Join us on Facebook. Check out our video: Trust your Gut (Might help)


" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/friends-with-opposite-sex-am-i-just.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(28456) "


 Please visit our new VIDEO PAGE and check out our new videos:

https://aalrc.instructure.com/eportfolios/363/Home/Long_distance_relationship_push_and_pull

https://achievereducation.instructure.com/eportfolios/55/_/Long_distance_relationship_Trying_again

https://acsc.instructure.com/eportfolios/255/Home/Cheating_Boyfriend_How_do_I_know_it_wont_happen_again

https://american-heritage.instructure.com/eportfolios/61970/_/DTR_talk_required_Id_like_to_Define_the_Relationship

https://arrowhead.instructure.com/eportfolios/593/Home/Will_he_ever_leave_his_marriage_for_me

https://bluecc.instructure.com/eportfolios/199/Home/Hes_at_a_different_college_and_in_a_fraternity_but_does_my_ex_still_love_me

https://canvas.drieam.nl/eportfolios/31/Home/My_slip_keeps_showing_Is_this_causing_an_office_relationship_problem

https://canvas.elsevier.com/eportfolios/5928/Home/Is_this_an_Online_Romance_or_an_Online_Booty_Call

https://canvas.instructure.com/eportfolios/89793/Home/Why_did_we_really_break_up

https://canvas.umw.edu/eportfolios/70222/_/Contemplating_a_long_distance_relationship_Could_we_be_something_more

https://canvas.yc.edu/eportfolios/621/_/I_like_a_gay_guy_what_do_I_do

https://ciee.instructure.com/eportfolios/397/Home/Divorced_and_now_online_Dating_Am_I_booty_call_or_more

https://cole2.uconline.edu/eportfolios/27461/_/Relationship_and_Dating_Advice_Wooing_at_a_distance

https://detaildivisionen.instructure.com/eportfolios/448/Startside/Text_messaging_tears_and_betrayal


Or check out our You Tube Channel. Please Subscribe and leave us a comment.

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all of your questions. We have a serious backlog, but we are working hard at answering them as quickly as possible. Thanks for your patience. Anyone that DONATES to THE GUYS will be moved to the top of the queue, which means we will answer your question within 2-3 days. (See PayPal button on right side of any page.) Yes, we will still try to answer all questions, but questions unaccompanied by a donation become part of the general queue which has a three to four week delay right now. And of course it’s not possible to get to every one.

Please also keep in mind, that although your questions are personal, they are meant for public consumption on this site. Meaning, we’ll be answering them on our blog. (On the “Ask the Guys” page.)

For those of you who have donated to us, THANK YOU. It does take considerable time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. And yes, there are real guys behind the scenes discussing the questions, and responding.

If you’re not sure how much to donate, just give what you’re comfortable with—whatever good advice is worth to you.

Thanks again,

THE GUYS

Some recent questions:

https://dillard.instructure.com/eportfolios/129/Home/Should_I_start_an_affair

https://dps.instructure.com/eportfolios/27614/Home/Dumped_by_text

https://zcs.instructure.com/eportfolios/892/Home/Does_future_career_always_trump_future_relationship

https://eastsideprep.instructure.com/eportfolios/61971/_/Why_does_he_have_a_second_Facebook_page_What_is_this_guys_MO

https://edunow.today/eportfolios/6/Home/Long_distance_relationship_He_cheated_on_me_and_told_me

https://erau.instructure.com/eportfolios/16943/Home/Long_distance_guy_Is_he_worth_it

https://esu8.instructure.com/eportfolios/38/_/Confusion_Is_my_housemate_interested_in_just_sex

https://icube.instructure.com/eportfolios/252/Home/Is_marriage_a_more_solid_commitment_than_living_together

https://fixedincomeacademy.instructure.com/eportfolios/25403/Home/Long_distance_relationship_Follow_up_question

https://iebh.instructure.com/eportfolios/108/Pgina_de_Inicio/Hurt_and_Confused_in_long_distance_relationship

https://imesd.instructure.com/eportfolios/142/Home/Jealousy_Friends_of_the_opposite_sex

https://isp.instructure.com/eportfolios/93/Home/Is_he_stubborn_or_just_not_into_me

https://ldsd.instructure.com/eportfolios/125/Home/Did_he_ever_care_at_all

https://mbsedu.instructure.com/eportfolios/332/Home/Four_years_of_mixed_messages

Hi guys!

My boyfriend has a friend of the opposite sex that I don’t particularly care for. She is the ex of one of his friends. He says they never hang out alone and that he sees her as a tomboy. When I finally met her she snubbed me. We all went out to eat and she sat right across from me and didn’t say a word to me. After that I didn’t bother to try to get to know her. I told my boyfriend how I felt and he just said I was overreacting. He’s upfront about her and tells me everything.  It’s just so annoying that she texts him all the time and tries to do stuff with him—without me of course. She is now pregnant and texts him everything about her pregnancy even when her water broke. It just seems too much and I don’t get why she tries to always get my boyfriend’s attention, especially when she has a boyfriend of her own.

When I confront my boyfriend he says I’m crazy and he always defends her instead of understanding where I am coming from. It’s not like they were friends before we started dating. They started hanging out because they hang out in the same crowd and she got his number from someone and they have bee texting ever since. I know of this girl and she’s not the most faithful in relationships, so it makes me even more skeptical.

Am I just jealous of this girl? Should I confront her? I don’t know what to do.

Dri

Dri,

Thanks for your question.

No you should not confront her. But you should sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart-to-heart with him. You may, or may not be overreacting, but that’s not for him to decide. The two of you need to talk this through.

Clearly she has some kind of interest in him, but still that has nothing to do with you. You have no control over her, and nor should you waste your energy trying to exert control over her. This has more to do with your own relationship. Your boyfriend should be trying to reassure you that all is well, rather than making light of it. (Although, if jealousy is a pattern with you, that’s a different story. We’re assuming no, as we answer your question.)

We believe people in relationships can have friends of the opposite sex, and in fact we encourage it. The world is too interesting a place to restrict yourself to 50% of the population. However there are a few rules that apply, and your boyfriend may be crossing the line.

We’re speaking to all the boyfriends and girlfriends out there:

1. Never put your friend in front of your boyfriend/girlfriend.

2. Doing activities that are typically reserved for your boyfriend/girlfriend are a no, no. (Dinner, Movies) Unless it’s been discussed ahead of time and everyone is on the same page and okay with it.

3. There should never be any type of hidden conversation going on, or other secrets. And constant texting seems a bit much.

4. If your friend is actually hoping a romantic relationship might develop, then it’s time to pull the plug on the friendship, or at discuss the boundaries.

5. You need to reassure your partner that nothing funny is going on.

6. Your friendship has to feel comfortable for everyone involved.

(Of course some partners will be jealous no matter what is going on. If that’s the case, it could be the partner’s issues.)

One last thought: We also wonder what her boyfriend thinks about her texting some other guy constantly, since she is pregnant with their child? She is definitely crossing the line as well. But once again, that’s something she and her boyfriend have to figure out. You should focus on your relationship.

We hope this puts things in perspective for you Dria.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

ps. Let your friends know about us. Join us on Facebook. Check out our video: Trust your Gut (Might help)


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597427280) } [18]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-505668555572936323" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 14 Aug 2020 17:36:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-14T10:36:27.559-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(46) "Relationship Advice: Committed or uncommitted?" ["description"]=> string(10057) "


 Dear Guys,

I don’t understand why guys who are in a committed relationship say to uncommitted females “if I wasn’t taken, I would be interested in pursuing you.” there is no guarantee of that ever coming to pass at any point in time.

Tammy

Read some of our archives:

Como obter boas habilidades de conversação em encontros

Como sair da zona de amizade com uma garota

Como impressionar mulheres inteligentes

KAKO VTISNITI INTELIGENTNE ŽENSKE

KATERI SO ELEMENTI DOBREGA POGOVORA?

KAKO DRŽATI ROKE Z DEKLETOM

Ako sa držať za ruky s dievčaťom

Ako získať viac skúseností so ženami

Ako dostať svoju priateľku k oblečeniu


Dear Tammy,

Thanks for your question. This is probably something that would interest a lot of women.

First of all, by speaking with you in this way, he’s being disrespectful to the woman he’s currently seeing. Can you imagine your boyfriend going around telling the girls he’s attracted to, “If I wasn’t in a relationship, I would be pursuing you.” This is a red flag, and probably someone to stay away from. He’s likely a player, or sometimes called a Playa. If he’s saying this to you, he’s saying it to many women, and things wouldn’t be any different if you were actually his girlfriend.

Now for a softer evaluation. A guy might be in a rocky relationship, or one that he doesn’t feel too secure about, and this might be a reason he says this to another woman. He wants to keep his options open so he doesn’t miss out on any great opportunities as his other relationship falls apart. However, once again, we prefer guys to man up and end one relationship before they start the next. However, we do understand that life is messy, and sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way.

Our take: proceed with major caution on this one.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

Readers: Leave us a note here and ask us a question. Relationship questions, or general questions about guys/men.


" ["link"]=> string(81) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/relationship-advice-committed-or.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(10057) "


 Dear Guys,

I don’t understand why guys who are in a committed relationship say to uncommitted females “if I wasn’t taken, I would be interested in pursuing you.” there is no guarantee of that ever coming to pass at any point in time.

Tammy

Read some of our archives:

Como obter boas habilidades de conversação em encontros

Como sair da zona de amizade com uma garota

Como impressionar mulheres inteligentes

KAKO VTISNITI INTELIGENTNE ŽENSKE

KATERI SO ELEMENTI DOBREGA POGOVORA?

KAKO DRŽATI ROKE Z DEKLETOM

Ako sa držať za ruky s dievčaťom

Ako získať viac skúseností so ženami

Ako dostať svoju priateľku k oblečeniu


Dear Tammy,

Thanks for your question. This is probably something that would interest a lot of women.

First of all, by speaking with you in this way, he’s being disrespectful to the woman he’s currently seeing. Can you imagine your boyfriend going around telling the girls he’s attracted to, “If I wasn’t in a relationship, I would be pursuing you.” This is a red flag, and probably someone to stay away from. He’s likely a player, or sometimes called a Playa. If he’s saying this to you, he’s saying it to many women, and things wouldn’t be any different if you were actually his girlfriend.

Now for a softer evaluation. A guy might be in a rocky relationship, or one that he doesn’t feel too secure about, and this might be a reason he says this to another woman. He wants to keep his options open so he doesn’t miss out on any great opportunities as his other relationship falls apart. However, once again, we prefer guys to man up and end one relationship before they start the next. However, we do understand that life is messy, and sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way.

Our take: proceed with major caution on this one.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

Readers: Leave us a note here and ask us a question. Relationship questions, or general questions about guys/men.


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597426560) } [19]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8778377865549276903" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 14 Aug 2020 17:34:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-14T10:34:30.071-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(42) "Am I being played?- Part 2: A short manual" ["description"]=> string(8230) "


 We get tons of questions about “getting played.” We’re going to keep this short and sweet and address them all at once. If you think you’re getting played, and your friends think you’re getting played, it’s likely you are getting played.

You’ve heard the expression, “Things aren’t what they seem.” Well that is true in many cases. But in relationships, things are sometimes just as they seem.

Here are some obvious red flags to consider.

1. Doesn’t return phone call.

2. Returns phone call a week later.

3. Only texts or calls when (he/she) wants to come over and, um…”Hang Out.” Translate: Have sex.

4. Blows you off, then starts dating someone else, only to come running back to you, after they break up.

5. Ignores you when you’re with a group of people, but then totally changes when you’re alone.

We’re just getting the list started. Please add your own here and help a friend, or even someone that you don’t know.

THE GUYS

https://peace-and-love.teachable.com/blog/215970/i-cheated-on-him

https://canvas.elsevier.com/eportfolios/5928/Home/This_guys_actions_are_confusing

https://edunow.today/eportfolios/6/Home/Different_Cultures_More_than_a_friend_less_than_a_lover

https://american-heritage.instructure.com/eportfolios/61970/_/This_guy_at_work_What_is_he_thinking_Does_he_still_like_me

https://technologijuvedliai.lt/eportfolios/8/Home/Why_is_he_secretive

https://www.colcampus.com/eportfolios/1568/Home/Domineering_when_I_date_I_give_dating_advice_to_men

https://university.moovweb.com/eportfolios/164/_/My_best_friend_What_does_he_want

https://www.artmajeur.com/en/slayalicantov/news/983882/online-dating-should-i-move-forward

https://www.devote.se/datengratis/am-i-being-played-31365195


" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/am-i-being-played-part-2-short-manual.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8230) "


 We get tons of questions about “getting played.” We’re going to keep this short and sweet and address them all at once. If you think you’re getting played, and your friends think you’re getting played, it’s likely you are getting played.

You’ve heard the expression, “Things aren’t what they seem.” Well that is true in many cases. But in relationships, things are sometimes just as they seem.

Here are some obvious red flags to consider.

1. Doesn’t return phone call.

2. Returns phone call a week later.

3. Only texts or calls when (he/she) wants to come over and, um…”Hang Out.” Translate: Have sex.

4. Blows you off, then starts dating someone else, only to come running back to you, after they break up.

5. Ignores you when you’re with a group of people, but then totally changes when you’re alone.

We’re just getting the list started. Please add your own here and help a friend, or even someone that you don’t know.

THE GUYS

https://peace-and-love.teachable.com/blog/215970/i-cheated-on-him

https://canvas.elsevier.com/eportfolios/5928/Home/This_guys_actions_are_confusing

https://edunow.today/eportfolios/6/Home/Different_Cultures_More_than_a_friend_less_than_a_lover

https://american-heritage.instructure.com/eportfolios/61970/_/This_guy_at_work_What_is_he_thinking_Does_he_still_like_me

https://technologijuvedliai.lt/eportfolios/8/Home/Why_is_he_secretive

https://www.colcampus.com/eportfolios/1568/Home/Domineering_when_I_date_I_give_dating_advice_to_men

https://university.moovweb.com/eportfolios/164/_/My_best_friend_What_does_he_want

https://www.artmajeur.com/en/slayalicantov/news/983882/online-dating-should-i-move-forward

https://www.devote.se/datengratis/am-i-being-played-31365195


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597426440) } [20]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-81830487740740360" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 13 Aug 2020 15:00:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-13T08:00:41.401-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(41) "He talks about having sex with my friends" ["description"]=> string(31976) "

 

Thank you for your questions. Please use the form above to ask a question. Remember, if you have a pressing question that needs answering soon, please consider a donation to THE GUYS. (Read above for details) This will move your question to the top of the line. (Answered within 1-3 days) Otherwise your question will go into the general queue which has a 3-5 week delay right now.

For those of you who have donated, thank you. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

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Dear Guys,

I’m 26 and my boyfriend of three years is 23. He is a great guy and we get along great. We have a house together and a life. Everything between us is 50/50. I don’t really have a lot of time to hang out with friends and to be honest I have lost touch with most of my friends over the last few years. Mainly we hang out with his friends which I consider to be my friends as well.

Lately I have been having real issues with his mouth when he is drinking, and hanging out with his buddies. The guys are all between 21-27 years old. They all love to talk about boobs! It does not seem to matter to them that there are girls around, they just talk about how great boobs are and also talk about other girls too. I didn’t let it bother me too much because I know boys will be boys but it started to really get to me when he was drunk one night and started talking about having sex with one of my friends. (Of course he said with me there too.) He was listing my friends and telling me to ask them if they were interested. He said, “I could tell that she wanted me.” He was not kidding around either. He said to me, “What? Do you expect that I won’t ever have sex with anyone else?”

Anyway the next day I didn’t even bring it up because I was sure he would not even remember. To be honest this is a BIG reason I don’t bring my friends around. I’m afraid to give him ANY opportunity to screw around on me! I have a hard time trusting and so does he. The other night while we were drinking and talking we were trying to figure out who could go with us to Cedar Point next week. I asked my 25 year old cousin to go with us. (Female) She said that she would and when I told the guys including my boyfriend, he asked me how big her boobs were!! I was so upset. He says it like it’s no big deal. It makes me feel like crap, and he always asks why I never invite my friends over or anything? Yeah I wonder why?!?! If I did, he’d be thinking of sleeping with them.

How do I bring this up to him without making myself feel worse? He is so young at times that he is hard to talk to. I know most of it is drunk talk, but its sticks with me all the time, and not just when we have a few drinks. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m jealous, or just not trusting, or crazy, or overreacting! What do I do? I feel a rage coming on with this and I think one day I’m gonna snap when he is acting like this and make an ass of myself in front of people.

Brandy

Dear Brandy,

Thanks for writing to us. We’re glad you asked us this question. A lot of our readers will be interested in this topic; and it’s a question we don’t get often because it’s not easy to talk about.

Sure your boyfriend at 23 is young, but that’s no excuse for treating you with such disrespect. Sure he drinks, but that’s still no excuse for discussing his fantasy threesomes with you. In fact we can’t see any excuse for his behavior.

You’ve been worried that maybe you’re overreacting, 0r overly jealous, or maybe crazy. Here’s a good test. How would he feel if you were sizing up the guys in the room and discussing it with him? How would he like it if you said you didn’t plan on being faithful to him? We don’t think he’d be too thrilled, especially since you mention he has trust issues. So we can see why you’re not either.

So how do you solve this problem? Have you tried having a heart-to-heart with him, telling him how his words and actions make you feel? Have you talked to him about what you need out of the relationship? If you haven’t, you need to soon. It might help, or it might not, but you need to do this in private before you snap in public.

What’s painfully clear to us is: He doesn’t know how to be in a committed relationship. Because a person who is committed to another person doesn’t talk about being with other people. Please don’t make excuses for him, or you’re going to find yourself feeling more and more frustrated. And that frustration will soon swell to anger and resentment.

So why are you trying so hard to make it work with this guy? Maybe you love him, but what are you getting from him? You deserve to be with someone who is faithful, loving, and respectful. You should be able to trust the man you’re with. You shouldn’t settle for anything less. And we’re just not sure he’s ready to be in a relationship at this point in his life.

Good luck,

THE GUYS


" ["link"]=> string(82) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/he-talks-about-having-sex-with-my.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(31976) "

 

Thank you for your questions. Please use the form above to ask a question. Remember, if you have a pressing question that needs answering soon, please consider a donation to THE GUYS. (Read above for details) This will move your question to the top of the line. (Answered within 1-3 days) Otherwise your question will go into the general queue which has a 3-5 week delay right now.

For those of you who have donated, thank you. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

Advertisement

If you like to meet American men for online relationships, you might also like to visit the following pages ...

Los Angeles

San Antonio

Sacramento

Houston

San Francisco

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New York City

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Dallas

Austin

Long Beach

Miami

Philadelphia

Anaheim

Las Vegas

San Antonio

Beverly Hills

Brooklyn

Irvine

Riverside

Atlanta

Alameda

Modesto

San Diego

Fremont

Hollywood


Dear Guys,

I’m 26 and my boyfriend of three years is 23. He is a great guy and we get along great. We have a house together and a life. Everything between us is 50/50. I don’t really have a lot of time to hang out with friends and to be honest I have lost touch with most of my friends over the last few years. Mainly we hang out with his friends which I consider to be my friends as well.

Lately I have been having real issues with his mouth when he is drinking, and hanging out with his buddies. The guys are all between 21-27 years old. They all love to talk about boobs! It does not seem to matter to them that there are girls around, they just talk about how great boobs are and also talk about other girls too. I didn’t let it bother me too much because I know boys will be boys but it started to really get to me when he was drunk one night and started talking about having sex with one of my friends. (Of course he said with me there too.) He was listing my friends and telling me to ask them if they were interested. He said, “I could tell that she wanted me.” He was not kidding around either. He said to me, “What? Do you expect that I won’t ever have sex with anyone else?”

Anyway the next day I didn’t even bring it up because I was sure he would not even remember. To be honest this is a BIG reason I don’t bring my friends around. I’m afraid to give him ANY opportunity to screw around on me! I have a hard time trusting and so does he. The other night while we were drinking and talking we were trying to figure out who could go with us to Cedar Point next week. I asked my 25 year old cousin to go with us. (Female) She said that she would and when I told the guys including my boyfriend, he asked me how big her boobs were!! I was so upset. He says it like it’s no big deal. It makes me feel like crap, and he always asks why I never invite my friends over or anything? Yeah I wonder why?!?! If I did, he’d be thinking of sleeping with them.

How do I bring this up to him without making myself feel worse? He is so young at times that he is hard to talk to. I know most of it is drunk talk, but its sticks with me all the time, and not just when we have a few drinks. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m jealous, or just not trusting, or crazy, or overreacting! What do I do? I feel a rage coming on with this and I think one day I’m gonna snap when he is acting like this and make an ass of myself in front of people.

Brandy

Dear Brandy,

Thanks for writing to us. We’re glad you asked us this question. A lot of our readers will be interested in this topic; and it’s a question we don’t get often because it’s not easy to talk about.

Sure your boyfriend at 23 is young, but that’s no excuse for treating you with such disrespect. Sure he drinks, but that’s still no excuse for discussing his fantasy threesomes with you. In fact we can’t see any excuse for his behavior.

You’ve been worried that maybe you’re overreacting, 0r overly jealous, or maybe crazy. Here’s a good test. How would he feel if you were sizing up the guys in the room and discussing it with him? How would he like it if you said you didn’t plan on being faithful to him? We don’t think he’d be too thrilled, especially since you mention he has trust issues. So we can see why you’re not either.

So how do you solve this problem? Have you tried having a heart-to-heart with him, telling him how his words and actions make you feel? Have you talked to him about what you need out of the relationship? If you haven’t, you need to soon. It might help, or it might not, but you need to do this in private before you snap in public.

What’s painfully clear to us is: He doesn’t know how to be in a committed relationship. Because a person who is committed to another person doesn’t talk about being with other people. Please don’t make excuses for him, or you’re going to find yourself feeling more and more frustrated. And that frustration will soon swell to anger and resentment.

So why are you trying so hard to make it work with this guy? Maybe you love him, but what are you getting from him? You deserve to be with someone who is faithful, loving, and respectful. You should be able to trust the man you’re with. You shouldn’t settle for anything less. And we’re just not sure he’s ready to be in a relationship at this point in his life.

Good luck,

THE GUYS


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597330800) } [21]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-9092055557889981955" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 13 Aug 2020 14:42:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-13T07:42:16.109-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(71) "Contemplating a long distance relationship; Could we be something more?" ["description"]=> string(35115) "

 

Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

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Hey Guys,

So there’s this british guy that I’ve known since 3rd grade and we’ve always been really close. He wanted to date me our freshman year in high school but got too scared that it would ruin our friendship and never asked me out. (He still doesn’t know to this day that I know about this.)

I left after sophomore year  when we were 16/17 to move to Boston to become a dancer and now I live in NYC. This past summer I came home. It was three years since I last saw him. (We’re now both 20.) When I saw him this summer we caught  up hung out a couple times and we ended up sleeping together. I left to come back to NYC in september and we’ve been texting ever since.

Now he’s coming to visit. I’m really nervous and I’m wondering if he’s just coming to the city to see the sites and get laid. Or is he actually coming also to see me? I’m from AZ and he still lives there now so it cost a lot for him to buy a plane ticket to come up here. (He even had to borrow money from his dad.)

Does he actually like me and want to see me or is he just excited to come to the city and possibly getting laid is the icing on the cake? To me, spending all that money and getting off work and stuff says something. But maybe I’m just being a hopeful girl. Also could it turn into something more? I know long distance relationships are hard, but would a guy really be willing to do that? I’m so nervous and confused right now. Please help!

Brittany

Dear Brittany,

Thanks for your question. We can see that you’re nervous. That’s pretty normal. You like this guy and would like to see if things can progress beyond a physical relationship. And of course you hope he feels the same way.

It’s hard to say exactly what his motivation for visiting you is. Sex will absolutely be part of his expectation for the trip. His drive to have sex is so intertwined with his excitement to come see you that he’s probably having difficulty separating the two himself. In fact it’s likely he doesn’t even know exactly what’s driving him, and he won’t know until after the two of you have been intimate. (If that’s what you decide to do, which is up to you of course.)

Assuming you decide to sleep with him, pay careful attention to how he acts right AFTER you have sex—especially the first time. And by “right after” we mean, RIGHT AFTER and for the next 8 hrs. (Meaning, until his libido kicks back in. It’s different for every guy.) If he’s distant, or acts differently, you’ll know he’s probably driven mainly by his interest in sex. If he still is happy to be with you, and wants to go out on the town with you, hold your hand, and spend time with you beyond the confines of your bedroom then you’ll know he’s got more on his mind than getting in your pants.

These next four paragraphs are just general information about guys Brittany. They are for your information and for all of the other women who might be reading this. 

Some women believe that making a guy wait for sex is the way you get them to commit. And this may be true for the short term. If a guy wants to have sex with a woman he will do whatever it takes to make it happen, which means acting sweet, giving her presents, and doing all the things that his woman might like him to do. But a guy is still waiting to make his final evaluation until after he has sex with a woman. Meaning, the way he acts BEFORE sex does not determine how he’ll be AFTER sex. For a guy, sex is often needed for him to make a conscious decision about moving forward or not.

But this is tricky. You also can’t secure a guy’s love through sex. So sleeping with a guy to get him to love you or commit to you, will also not work. And in many cases it will push him away. It’s a fine and mysterious balance. We don’t have all the answers.

Finally, wanting sex all the time is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, having a healthy sex life with your partner is a very important piece of an overall healthy relationship. But both parties need to be giving in the bedroom as well. If your guy is not giving in the bedroom this will be a strong indicator of how he is in everyday life.

Bottom line: You have to do what’s comfortable for you. Every relationship is different. But you should never be pressured into doing something that doesn’t feel right. Go with your gut.

Enough on that topic. Moving on.

Yes, british guys are willing to try a long distance relationship Brittany. You’ve probably heard that guys are incapable of being faithful in this type of relationship but that’s a crock of crap. It’s just an excuse for guys to be selfish and do whatever they please. Many guys are loyal and faithful. So don’t let that stop you if you believe you and this guy have a chance for something more.

Our advice: Take it slow. Keep your eyes open. Trust your gut. Introduce him to your friends. Listen to your friends’ opinions. And talk to him. Sure we know most people don’t want to show their hand, but in order for a long distance relationship to have any chance at all, it requires a ton of communication from both parties. And when you’re apart, texting is okay, but phone conversations or Skype are best.

Feel free to give us an update and ask us a follow up question. Leave your question in the comments section of this post.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/contemplating-long-distance.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(35115) "

 

Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

Advertisement

If you like to meet British men for online relationships, you might also like to visit the following pages ...

London

Belfast

 

Glasgow

Stoneywood

Barking

Longbridge

Leicester

Basildon

Leeds

Luton

Chelmsford

Bristol

Newhaven

Southend

Birmingham

Oxford

Clacton-on-Sea

Salford

Sheffield

Brentwood

Trafford Park

Belfast

Harlow

Norwich

Stoneywood

Grays

Braintree

Leicester


Hey Guys,

So there’s this british guy that I’ve known since 3rd grade and we’ve always been really close. He wanted to date me our freshman year in high school but got too scared that it would ruin our friendship and never asked me out. (He still doesn’t know to this day that I know about this.)

I left after sophomore year  when we were 16/17 to move to Boston to become a dancer and now I live in NYC. This past summer I came home. It was three years since I last saw him. (We’re now both 20.) When I saw him this summer we caught  up hung out a couple times and we ended up sleeping together. I left to come back to NYC in september and we’ve been texting ever since.

Now he’s coming to visit. I’m really nervous and I’m wondering if he’s just coming to the city to see the sites and get laid. Or is he actually coming also to see me? I’m from AZ and he still lives there now so it cost a lot for him to buy a plane ticket to come up here. (He even had to borrow money from his dad.)

Does he actually like me and want to see me or is he just excited to come to the city and possibly getting laid is the icing on the cake? To me, spending all that money and getting off work and stuff says something. But maybe I’m just being a hopeful girl. Also could it turn into something more? I know long distance relationships are hard, but would a guy really be willing to do that? I’m so nervous and confused right now. Please help!

Brittany

Dear Brittany,

Thanks for your question. We can see that you’re nervous. That’s pretty normal. You like this guy and would like to see if things can progress beyond a physical relationship. And of course you hope he feels the same way.

It’s hard to say exactly what his motivation for visiting you is. Sex will absolutely be part of his expectation for the trip. His drive to have sex is so intertwined with his excitement to come see you that he’s probably having difficulty separating the two himself. In fact it’s likely he doesn’t even know exactly what’s driving him, and he won’t know until after the two of you have been intimate. (If that’s what you decide to do, which is up to you of course.)

Assuming you decide to sleep with him, pay careful attention to how he acts right AFTER you have sex—especially the first time. And by “right after” we mean, RIGHT AFTER and for the next 8 hrs. (Meaning, until his libido kicks back in. It’s different for every guy.) If he’s distant, or acts differently, you’ll know he’s probably driven mainly by his interest in sex. If he still is happy to be with you, and wants to go out on the town with you, hold your hand, and spend time with you beyond the confines of your bedroom then you’ll know he’s got more on his mind than getting in your pants.

These next four paragraphs are just general information about guys Brittany. They are for your information and for all of the other women who might be reading this. 

Some women believe that making a guy wait for sex is the way you get them to commit. And this may be true for the short term. If a guy wants to have sex with a woman he will do whatever it takes to make it happen, which means acting sweet, giving her presents, and doing all the things that his woman might like him to do. But a guy is still waiting to make his final evaluation until after he has sex with a woman. Meaning, the way he acts BEFORE sex does not determine how he’ll be AFTER sex. For a guy, sex is often needed for him to make a conscious decision about moving forward or not.

But this is tricky. You also can’t secure a guy’s love through sex. So sleeping with a guy to get him to love you or commit to you, will also not work. And in many cases it will push him away. It’s a fine and mysterious balance. We don’t have all the answers.

Finally, wanting sex all the time is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, having a healthy sex life with your partner is a very important piece of an overall healthy relationship. But both parties need to be giving in the bedroom as well. If your guy is not giving in the bedroom this will be a strong indicator of how he is in everyday life.

Bottom line: You have to do what’s comfortable for you. Every relationship is different. But you should never be pressured into doing something that doesn’t feel right. Go with your gut.

Enough on that topic. Moving on.

Yes, british guys are willing to try a long distance relationship Brittany. You’ve probably heard that guys are incapable of being faithful in this type of relationship but that’s a crock of crap. It’s just an excuse for guys to be selfish and do whatever they please. Many guys are loyal and faithful. So don’t let that stop you if you believe you and this guy have a chance for something more.

Our advice: Take it slow. Keep your eyes open. Trust your gut. Introduce him to your friends. Listen to your friends’ opinions. And talk to him. Sure we know most people don’t want to show their hand, but in order for a long distance relationship to have any chance at all, it requires a ton of communication from both parties. And when you’re apart, texting is okay, but phone conversations or Skype are best.

Feel free to give us an update and ask us a follow up question. Leave your question in the comments section of this post.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597329720) } [22]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-898360488684449656" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 13 Aug 2020 13:07:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-13T06:07:38.801-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(40) "He won’t bring me out with his friends" ["description"]=> string(25122) "

 

Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

Advertisement

If you like to meet Australian men for online relationships, you might also like to visit the following pages ...

Perth

Townsville

 

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Darwin

 

Brisbane

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Hobart

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Perth

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Melbourne

Darwin

 


Hi Guys,

I have been in a relationship for the past one year. Everything is going fine. His friends and my friends know about us. But he always introduces me as a friend in front of his colleagues or acquaintances. He never accepts my relationship requests on Facebook. He never takes me along with his friends, even if their wives or girlfriends are going. His friends don’t like me. I know that. He does take me out, but always only the two of us.

I feel as if I am not getting the acknowledgement in front of the world and that scares me. I know he loves me. He says he loves me and that’s enough for me. He doesn’t flirt with other girls.

What do I do? Am I overreacting?

Angel

Dear Angel,

Thanks for your question.

You say your situation is enough for you (the fact that he tells you he loves you), but obviously it must be bothering you, otherwise it’s unlikely you would have contacted us to ask our opinion. And honestly, we don’t think you’re overreacting. We see some serious red flags here.

We’ve said this before, and we’ll say it now: When a guy is totally in love with a woman, he wants to tell the world about this new person in his life. He’s not necessarily looking for approval from his loved ones (although that’s nice), but he’s more showing that he approves of you, enough to show you off, and tell the world he’s proud to have you as a partner. Your guy is not doing this and that is a concern for us. And for you.

It’s always nice when people get along great with their partner’s family and friends. When this happens it only further affirms the new connection. But that doesn’t mean approval from family and friends is a determining factor. A lot of people have great relationships with people that their families can’t stand. The problem with your situation is that your guy has let the opinions of his friends affect his behavior. This shows two things: He either is easily influenced, which we consider to be a character flaw in this situation, or he isn’t really in love with you the way you think he is.

The only way to resolve this situation is to start talking to him about how you feel. Pretending that everything is fine, when it isn’t, is not going to help strengthen your relationship. You need to have open lines of communication so you can both be honest with each other. Hopefully, he’ll understand where you’re coming from and try to change some of his behavior. If he doesn’t acknowledge your feelings, and tells you you’re overreacting, that should only strengthen your notion that something is indeed wrong.

Good luck,

" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/he-wont-bring-me-out-with-his-friends.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(25122) "

 

Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

Advertisement

If you like to meet Australian men for online relationships, you might also like to visit the following pages ...

Perth

Townsville

 

Melbourne

Darwin

 

Brisbane

Newcastle

 

Sydney

Dandenong

 

Adelaide

Geelong

 

Canberra

Ipswich

 

Hobart

Launceston

 

Cairns

Rockhampton

 

Perth

Townsville

 

Melbourne

Darwin

 


Hi Guys,

I have been in a relationship for the past one year. Everything is going fine. His friends and my friends know about us. But he always introduces me as a friend in front of his colleagues or acquaintances. He never accepts my relationship requests on Facebook. He never takes me along with his friends, even if their wives or girlfriends are going. His friends don’t like me. I know that. He does take me out, but always only the two of us.

I feel as if I am not getting the acknowledgement in front of the world and that scares me. I know he loves me. He says he loves me and that’s enough for me. He doesn’t flirt with other girls.

What do I do? Am I overreacting?

Angel

Dear Angel,

Thanks for your question.

You say your situation is enough for you (the fact that he tells you he loves you), but obviously it must be bothering you, otherwise it’s unlikely you would have contacted us to ask our opinion. And honestly, we don’t think you’re overreacting. We see some serious red flags here.

We’ve said this before, and we’ll say it now: When a guy is totally in love with a woman, he wants to tell the world about this new person in his life. He’s not necessarily looking for approval from his loved ones (although that’s nice), but he’s more showing that he approves of you, enough to show you off, and tell the world he’s proud to have you as a partner. Your guy is not doing this and that is a concern for us. And for you.

It’s always nice when people get along great with their partner’s family and friends. When this happens it only further affirms the new connection. But that doesn’t mean approval from family and friends is a determining factor. A lot of people have great relationships with people that their families can’t stand. The problem with your situation is that your guy has let the opinions of his friends affect his behavior. This shows two things: He either is easily influenced, which we consider to be a character flaw in this situation, or he isn’t really in love with you the way you think he is.

The only way to resolve this situation is to start talking to him about how you feel. Pretending that everything is fine, when it isn’t, is not going to help strengthen your relationship. You need to have open lines of communication so you can both be honest with each other. Hopefully, he’ll understand where you’re coming from and try to change some of his behavior. If he doesn’t acknowledge your feelings, and tells you you’re overreacting, that should only strengthen your notion that something is indeed wrong.

Good luck,

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597324020) } [23]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-605750269435710208" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 13 Aug 2020 12:46:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-13T05:46:55.957-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(75) "I suggested Friends with Benefits (FWB): Did I just dig myself into a hole?" ["description"]=> string(30251) "

 


Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

Advertisement

 If you like Irish women, you might also like to visit the following pages ... 

Galway

Tralee

Tallaght

Limerick

Kildare

Navan

Waterford

Mullingar

Swords

Drogheda

Cavan

Tullamore

Wexford

Killarney

Castlebar

Dundalk

Portlaoise

Balbriggan

Athlone

Ennis

Carlow

Kilkenny

Wicklow

 

Donegal

Blanchardstown

 

Letterkenny

Tipperary

 

 

Dear Guys,

So after 10 years of crushing hard on my best friend’s brother I finally got my chance. I went and visited him and spent the night. We did “the do” and I went home the next day.

Neither one of us want a relationship but I do have some serious feelings for him. But what I wanna know is what’s going through his mind. Out in public we hang out with each other and talk, we have fun and I enjoy his company very much. But does he enjoy me being around?

When I stayed the night I turned over and faced my back to him. He scooted to me and curled up and put his arm around me. The next morning I tested the waters by scooting close to him. He moved his arm and let me in to lay on him; then put his arm around me. He took pictures of the two of us on my camera and while I was riding the bull he took pics of me on his camera.

I got “antsy” because I didn’t know where I stood with him so I tested the waters yet again and offered a “Friends with Benefits” situation. He said, “Yeah, for sure.”

Now is this like a situation where he’s thinking about only getting laid, or is there something there and this is a way for us to be around each other minus the commitment?

Curiously Screwed

Dear “Curiously Screwed,”

Thanks for your question.

As we were reading your question we were thinking that things were going fairly well between the two of you. That is until we read your last paragraph where you offered this guy a “Friends with Benefits” situation. We think you know what we’re going to say, but here goes anyway.

A guy will almost never turn down an offer like that. Even if he actually wants something more—like a serious relationship. And that’s the biggest problem with a FWB situation. It’s so convenient and as close to risk free as you can get when it comes to sex. (Sex if never totally risk free.) So most guys will jump at the opportunity.

But the problem is you’ve leaped into a situation that won’t give you the answers you’re looking for. That’s the issue. It’s clear you have feelings for this guy beyond sex, and have so for some time. We don’t think you should deny those feelings, which you’re doing by saying you don’t want a commitment. It feels a bit like you’re trying to protect yourself. And when you suggest a “Friends with Benefits” situation, how is he going to think about anything else besides getting laid? He’s not. So yes, in this way you’ve dug yourself into a hole.

Some of this guy’s actions would suggest to us that you’re not just an average “booty call.” But we think you need to backpedal a bit and rescind your offer of FWB. And in doing so tell him how you really feel. (We don’t think you should give it all away, but at least tell him that you’d like to see if this could develop into something more. We just get the sense that that’s what you really want.) And in doing so, hopefully you’ll learn something about where his head’s at.

Is this a risk? Sure it is. But what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe he won’t be interested? But at least you’ll have some information to go forward with. And that’s better than having a nebulous affair that will only frustrate and confuse you, and eventually lead to resentment. And you can always go back to a FWB situation. Like we said, a guy will almost never turn down a “Friends with Benefits” situation. And that also means reverting back to one. Guys will even do this with an ex-girlfriend, although we don’t recommend that for either party.

Keep us posted, and good luck.

" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/i-suggested-friends-with-benefits-fwb.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(30251) "

 


Dear Readers,

Thanks for your interest. We are trying our best to answer all of your questions as quickly as we can. However, due to the number of questions we receive each day, you can expect to wait about a month before your question gets addressed. And keep in mind, that even though we try, it’s not possible for us to answer every single question.

Also, thanks to those of you who have donated. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. (Please consider a donation. We have been known to answer those questions quickly.)

Advertisement

 If you like Irish women, you might also like to visit the following pages ... 

Galway

Tralee

Tallaght

Limerick

Kildare

Navan

Waterford

Mullingar

Swords

Drogheda

Cavan

Tullamore

Wexford

Killarney

Castlebar

Dundalk

Portlaoise

Balbriggan

Athlone

Ennis

Carlow

Kilkenny

Wicklow

 

Donegal

Blanchardstown

 

Letterkenny

Tipperary

 

 

Dear Guys,

So after 10 years of crushing hard on my best friend’s brother I finally got my chance. I went and visited him and spent the night. We did “the do” and I went home the next day.

Neither one of us want a relationship but I do have some serious feelings for him. But what I wanna know is what’s going through his mind. Out in public we hang out with each other and talk, we have fun and I enjoy his company very much. But does he enjoy me being around?

When I stayed the night I turned over and faced my back to him. He scooted to me and curled up and put his arm around me. The next morning I tested the waters by scooting close to him. He moved his arm and let me in to lay on him; then put his arm around me. He took pictures of the two of us on my camera and while I was riding the bull he took pics of me on his camera.

I got “antsy” because I didn’t know where I stood with him so I tested the waters yet again and offered a “Friends with Benefits” situation. He said, “Yeah, for sure.”

Now is this like a situation where he’s thinking about only getting laid, or is there something there and this is a way for us to be around each other minus the commitment?

Curiously Screwed

Dear “Curiously Screwed,”

Thanks for your question.

As we were reading your question we were thinking that things were going fairly well between the two of you. That is until we read your last paragraph where you offered this guy a “Friends with Benefits” situation. We think you know what we’re going to say, but here goes anyway.

A guy will almost never turn down an offer like that. Even if he actually wants something more—like a serious relationship. And that’s the biggest problem with a FWB situation. It’s so convenient and as close to risk free as you can get when it comes to sex. (Sex if never totally risk free.) So most guys will jump at the opportunity.

But the problem is you’ve leaped into a situation that won’t give you the answers you’re looking for. That’s the issue. It’s clear you have feelings for this guy beyond sex, and have so for some time. We don’t think you should deny those feelings, which you’re doing by saying you don’t want a commitment. It feels a bit like you’re trying to protect yourself. And when you suggest a “Friends with Benefits” situation, how is he going to think about anything else besides getting laid? He’s not. So yes, in this way you’ve dug yourself into a hole.

Some of this guy’s actions would suggest to us that you’re not just an average “booty call.” But we think you need to backpedal a bit and rescind your offer of FWB. And in doing so tell him how you really feel. (We don’t think you should give it all away, but at least tell him that you’d like to see if this could develop into something more. We just get the sense that that’s what you really want.) And in doing so, hopefully you’ll learn something about where his head’s at.

Is this a risk? Sure it is. But what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe he won’t be interested? But at least you’ll have some information to go forward with. And that’s better than having a nebulous affair that will only frustrate and confuse you, and eventually lead to resentment. And you can always go back to a FWB situation. Like we said, a guy will almost never turn down a “Friends with Benefits” situation. And that also means reverting back to one. Guys will even do this with an ex-girlfriend, although we don’t recommend that for either party.

Keep us posted, and good luck.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1597322760) } [24]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-3530364431505876962" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 12 Aug 2020 07:13:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-12T00:13:26.858-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(52) "How To Enjoy Sexual Abundance Without Being A Player" ["description"]=> string(55823) "

 

In my last two posts, I told you about a harmful way of looking at the world that many dating coaches embed in their dating advice.

I’ve already told you what the belief is and how to recognize it. Now I’m going to show you how to escape it and start getting more sex and enjoying happier relationships.

In case you need refreshing, the false dichotomy can be summed up like this: Guys are being bombarded with a false choice between becoming a semi-misogynistic player who has an abundant sex life or a sexless loser who makes smart decisions. I’ll show you that there is an alternative to those choices that lets you enjoy an abundant dating life without the being a player with a messed up life.

A New Hope (For Guys’ Dating Options)

Here is something that has worked really well for me and the guys here at DateMasters…

Date as many women you want until you find one that matches what you want in an exclusive girlfriend, who is into you and wants to be your girlfriend.

Some guys say in response, “How do you handle all the issues that come up with dating multiple women?”

My response: what issues?

Seriously.

Those are issues that come up when a player is dating multiple women.

A col guy with self-respect knows that those “issues” all go away whenever you learn to be assertive and honest in your relations with women.

That also means you don’t set false expectations when you are DATING a woman who is not your exclusive girlfriend.

It also means that you are not dating other women when you’ve decided to be exclusive with the really wonderful woman who you allow to be your girlfriend.

Most players create lives full of drama.

Read that carefully.

Drama is something that people must create or allow into their lives. The happiest couples we know have really incredible and exciting lives with zero drama at all.

We’ve found that a major factor in creating / allowing drama into guys lives occurs when they set a whole lot of false expectations with the woman they date.

They they try to lead her in a direction that she doesn’t want to go and then when she stops following him, he tries to convince her even more.

In the book Meet More Women I talk about convincing and persuading as an ineffective tactic. It isn’t even a moral issue. It just doesn’t work for guys who want exciting and abundant dating and sex lives without any drama.

Convincing and persuading a girl to stay with you, like you, and be with you are all tools of a player. It doesn’t matter how much guys convince themselves or frame themselves as ‘not a player’ – using ‘Game’ and Pick Up Artist techniques (this includes pickup lines and ‘natural game’) will still bring the negative baggage of being a player (drama) and for a lot of guys it doesn’t even bring the stereotypical benefits of being a player (sex).

Players have to chase sex in order to get it.

Cool guys get it without chasing. They take no for an answer. They set boundaries and when a girl steps out of line, they walk away without looking back. Especially if she’s hot.

 If you like Irish women, you might also like to visit the following pages ... 

Dublin
Cork
Galway
Limerick
Waterford
Drogheda
Wexford
Dundalk
Athlone
Kilkenny
Donegal
Letterkenny
Carlow
Sligo
Tralee
Kildare
Mullingar
Cavan
Killarney
Portlaoise
Ennis
Wicklow
Blanchardstown
Tipperary
Tallaght
Navan
Swords
Tullamore
Castlebar
Balbriggan

Taking No for an Answer and Being Assertive


Real men are confident enough to let women leave who want to leave – and they do so without giving her excuses and without pleading for her to stay. When her priorities don’t match ours, we simply let go her own way, then get up, get out and go Meet More Women.

Newsflash: If she wants to stay, she will stay. If she wants to leave, she will leave. Trying to convince her to hang around when she’s not interested just acts a signal to her that you don’t respect yourself. Self-respecting women don’t stay with a guy who doesn’t respect himself.

A really wonderful woman I dated for a couple years asked me to be her boyfriend about on about the 9th date.

Me: “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

Her: “Well… yeah… I mean, that’s what I want… But… I don’t know if you want the same thing…”

So, now, what would a player do in this situation?

I’ll tell you, straight from some of the ‘Game’ manuals or Pickup Artist bootcamps on women out there.

“I really like you but I am the kind of guy who has a lot of love to give, so I have several girlfriends.”

Or

“You’re a really great girl, and if we keep seeing each other I think you could be ‘the one’ for me.”

Or

“Let’s not put labels on it or call ourselves anything. We’re just two people having a good time.”

The hallmark of the player will be trying to convince her to stay.

So what did I do?

Jack: “I can’t be your boyfriend.”

Her: “But you’re not married? Or you don’t have a girlfriend or anything?”

Me: “That’s right. I just can’t be your boyfriend.”

Her: “Are you dating other people?”

Jack: “That’s private.”

Her: “So what if I were out seeing another guy on dates like we do?”

Jack: “That’s none of my business.”

Her: “Well, I only want to be with you anyways. So then this is all just fun and games until you find someone else?”

Jack: “Yes. If that’s not what you want, I understand.” (I mentally ready for this to be our last conversation.)

Her: (She thought for a moment and then brightened up) “Then I’ll just have to be more fun than all the other girls!”

Then she thanked me for being honest with her and gave me a kiss and we continued having a great time seeing each other.

You must be willing to walk away. Not as a tactic. But as part of who you are.

Stepping Outside the False Dichotomy and Choosing Your Own Path

Did you ever read a choose your own adventure story when you were a kid?

You know, the ones where you could decide whether to stay with Mandy or investigate the house and depending on which choice you made, the story would change?

I have some bad news for you…

Despite the clever presentation, you weren’t actually completely free to choose your own adventure. The author gave you the choices that the author wanted you to choose, no matter what. Sorry to burst your bubble.

What does this have to do with dating and this series of blogs?

You have to realize that the book is not reality.The choices you have been presented with are not reality. They are simply ways of looking at the world.

What would you call someone who believed the choose your own adventure book was actually reality? Psychotic! It’s simply a story that we can step into and enjoy, or not.

The dichotomy between being a player vs. being a loser is not real! And yet so many guys choose to step into the dichotomy without realizing that this dichotomy, too is just a story.

Even the choices I’m presenting you are not reality. They are all ways of looking at the world. Some ways of looking at the world expand your reality, some shrink it.

It’s not reality. And the only way to change your reality is from outside of the story. You have to step out. Stop choosing to live within a story that limits you. Find a way of looking at the world that lets you become the man you want to become while expanding what is possible in your reality, right now.

Here’s are the basic, fundamental steps to “Third Option” – rejecting the self-destructive lifestyles of player and loser, while embracing the best within yourself: The Man.

·         First of all, we’ve seen guys get massive benefits from working on their self-esteem, self-respect and assertiveness skills. We highly recommend the works of Nathaniel Branden and Manuel J. Smith.

·         Next, we also highly recommend getting up, getting out and meeting TONS of women. Also, stop Chasing sex. Resolve the seemingly paradoxical nature of these two simultaneous tasks here by…

·         Building the steel willpower to disqualify & dump women who aren’t up to standard. Do so by…

·         Learning to Identify the not-so-subtle-hints and red flags that women throw out.

·         Recognize that even if it’s possible to ‘get sex’ (the ultimate goal of the player) from a woman who is, let’s say, a drama queen, there is always better, more fulfilling, more satisfying sex with hotter, more amazing women with better attitudes and core personalities who also bring a whole lot more to the table than their looks for a holistically overall better life experience.

 


" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/how-to-enjoy-sexual-abundance-without.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(55823) "

 

In my last two posts, I told you about a harmful way of looking at the world that many dating coaches embed in their dating advice.

I’ve already told you what the belief is and how to recognize it. Now I’m going to show you how to escape it and start getting more sex and enjoying happier relationships.

In case you need refreshing, the false dichotomy can be summed up like this: Guys are being bombarded with a false choice between becoming a semi-misogynistic player who has an abundant sex life or a sexless loser who makes smart decisions. I’ll show you that there is an alternative to those choices that lets you enjoy an abundant dating life without the being a player with a messed up life.

A New Hope (For Guys’ Dating Options)

Here is something that has worked really well for me and the guys here at DateMasters…

Date as many women you want until you find one that matches what you want in an exclusive girlfriend, who is into you and wants to be your girlfriend.

Some guys say in response, “How do you handle all the issues that come up with dating multiple women?”

My response: what issues?

Seriously.

Those are issues that come up when a player is dating multiple women.

A col guy with self-respect knows that those “issues” all go away whenever you learn to be assertive and honest in your relations with women.

That also means you don’t set false expectations when you are DATING a woman who is not your exclusive girlfriend.

It also means that you are not dating other women when you’ve decided to be exclusive with the really wonderful woman who you allow to be your girlfriend.

Most players create lives full of drama.

Read that carefully.

Drama is something that people must create or allow into their lives. The happiest couples we know have really incredible and exciting lives with zero drama at all.

We’ve found that a major factor in creating / allowing drama into guys lives occurs when they set a whole lot of false expectations with the woman they date.

They they try to lead her in a direction that she doesn’t want to go and then when she stops following him, he tries to convince her even more.

In the book Meet More Women I talk about convincing and persuading as an ineffective tactic. It isn’t even a moral issue. It just doesn’t work for guys who want exciting and abundant dating and sex lives without any drama.

Convincing and persuading a girl to stay with you, like you, and be with you are all tools of a player. It doesn’t matter how much guys convince themselves or frame themselves as ‘not a player’ – using ‘Game’ and Pick Up Artist techniques (this includes pickup lines and ‘natural game’) will still bring the negative baggage of being a player (drama) and for a lot of guys it doesn’t even bring the stereotypical benefits of being a player (sex).

Players have to chase sex in order to get it.

Cool guys get it without chasing. They take no for an answer. They set boundaries and when a girl steps out of line, they walk away without looking back. Especially if she’s hot.

 If you like Irish women, you might also like to visit the following pages ... 

Dublin
Cork
Galway
Limerick
Waterford
Drogheda
Wexford
Dundalk
Athlone
Kilkenny
Donegal
Letterkenny
Carlow
Sligo
Tralee
Kildare
Mullingar
Cavan
Killarney
Portlaoise
Ennis
Wicklow
Blanchardstown
Tipperary
Tallaght
Navan
Swords
Tullamore
Castlebar
Balbriggan

Taking No for an Answer and Being Assertive


Real men are confident enough to let women leave who want to leave – and they do so without giving her excuses and without pleading for her to stay. When her priorities don’t match ours, we simply let go her own way, then get up, get out and go Meet More Women.

Newsflash: If she wants to stay, she will stay. If she wants to leave, she will leave. Trying to convince her to hang around when she’s not interested just acts a signal to her that you don’t respect yourself. Self-respecting women don’t stay with a guy who doesn’t respect himself.

A really wonderful woman I dated for a couple years asked me to be her boyfriend about on about the 9th date.

Me: “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

Her: “Well… yeah… I mean, that’s what I want… But… I don’t know if you want the same thing…”

So, now, what would a player do in this situation?

I’ll tell you, straight from some of the ‘Game’ manuals or Pickup Artist bootcamps on women out there.

“I really like you but I am the kind of guy who has a lot of love to give, so I have several girlfriends.”

Or

“You’re a really great girl, and if we keep seeing each other I think you could be ‘the one’ for me.”

Or

“Let’s not put labels on it or call ourselves anything. We’re just two people having a good time.”

The hallmark of the player will be trying to convince her to stay.

So what did I do?

Jack: “I can’t be your boyfriend.”

Her: “But you’re not married? Or you don’t have a girlfriend or anything?”

Me: “That’s right. I just can’t be your boyfriend.”

Her: “Are you dating other people?”

Jack: “That’s private.”

Her: “So what if I were out seeing another guy on dates like we do?”

Jack: “That’s none of my business.”

Her: “Well, I only want to be with you anyways. So then this is all just fun and games until you find someone else?”

Jack: “Yes. If that’s not what you want, I understand.” (I mentally ready for this to be our last conversation.)

Her: (She thought for a moment and then brightened up) “Then I’ll just have to be more fun than all the other girls!”

Then she thanked me for being honest with her and gave me a kiss and we continued having a great time seeing each other.

You must be willing to walk away. Not as a tactic. But as part of who you are.

Stepping Outside the False Dichotomy and Choosing Your Own Path

Did you ever read a choose your own adventure story when you were a kid?

You know, the ones where you could decide whether to stay with Mandy or investigate the house and depending on which choice you made, the story would change?

I have some bad news for you…

Despite the clever presentation, you weren’t actually completely free to choose your own adventure. The author gave you the choices that the author wanted you to choose, no matter what. Sorry to burst your bubble.

What does this have to do with dating and this series of blogs?

You have to realize that the book is not reality.The choices you have been presented with are not reality. They are simply ways of looking at the world.

What would you call someone who believed the choose your own adventure book was actually reality? Psychotic! It’s simply a story that we can step into and enjoy, or not.

The dichotomy between being a player vs. being a loser is not real! And yet so many guys choose to step into the dichotomy without realizing that this dichotomy, too is just a story.

Even the choices I’m presenting you are not reality. They are all ways of looking at the world. Some ways of looking at the world expand your reality, some shrink it.

It’s not reality. And the only way to change your reality is from outside of the story. You have to step out. Stop choosing to live within a story that limits you. Find a way of looking at the world that lets you become the man you want to become while expanding what is possible in your reality, right now.

Here’s are the basic, fundamental steps to “Third Option” – rejecting the self-destructive lifestyles of player and loser, while embracing the best within yourself: The Man.

·         First of all, we’ve seen guys get massive benefits from working on their self-esteem, self-respect and assertiveness skills. We highly recommend the works of Nathaniel Branden and Manuel J. Smith.

·         Next, we also highly recommend getting up, getting out and meeting TONS of women. Also, stop Chasing sex. Resolve the seemingly paradoxical nature of these two simultaneous tasks here by…

·         Building the steel willpower to disqualify & dump women who aren’t up to standard. Do so by…

·         Learning to Identify the not-so-subtle-hints and red flags that women throw out.

·         Recognize that even if it’s possible to ‘get sex’ (the ultimate goal of the player) from a woman who is, let’s say, a drama queen, there is always better, more fulfilling, more satisfying sex with hotter, more amazing women with better attitudes and core personalities who also bring a whole lot more to the table than their looks for a holistically overall better life experience.

 


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